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Posts by sren

  Monkeybum, if you haven't read it yet, get your hands on a copy of Why Does He Do That? by Lundy Bancroft.  Understanding what truly motivates these people and how they think can be key to surviving them.  Document everything that he is doing that makes you feel intimidated.  I noticed that the law in your area also includes threats of physical violence as DV-- so anytime that he says he will hurt you, the kids/pets/possessions or that you feel afraid that he might...
Hugs to you, that is hard! If you can document that his behavior is abusive, you could qualify for a protection order which removes him from the home.  This might mean proceeding with the separation and then when he reacts abusively, getting the RO and getting him out.  Here is some info on protection orders in your area: http://www.violetnet.org/info/pafva.htm and a local domestic violence organization might be able to advise you further.
I was the one who left and I haven't gotten rid of any of it.  I figure those albums are meaningful to our children, heck, they are still meaningful to me because of our children.  As painful as the marriage ending (and the reasons behind the end) has been, I still want to honor the marriage that created them.  But I still have pictures of the kids with their dad on my family room walls 1.5 yrs post-split, so maybe I'm a little weird.  Now the ring I am planning to sell...
OP, here are a couple of good reads that helped me find some clarity and might apply in your situation.. The Verbally Abusive Relationship (by Patricia Evans) and Too Good to Leave, Too Bad to Stay.  You are definitely not alone!!!
I waited about 10 or 11 months, and did a lot of work (and continue to do a lot of work) on myself after leaving a long-term abusive relationship.  It was still iffy, as the first guy that I was drawn to was a jerk, and i knew it, but i craved the attention so badly.  Exercise caution, run everything by friends that you trust if you can.
((Alaura5)) Wow, that is a lot to process.  I would say maintain the separation and take plenty of time and space in making that decision.  There are levels of betrayal to this affair-- the timing when you and the new baby need his focus,  the lying while in counseling, his sense of entitlement, the lack of real remorse/empathy toward you.  Believe his actions, not his words, and actions are only apparent over time.  I left my kids' dad due to domestic violence and...
Hi BabyBearsMummy! Way to go!   Tuesday Ran about 3 miles, low (too low) cal day Wednesday Ran 3 miles with hills, super low cal day-- this is not intentional (or good), my stomach is a mess right now for emotional reasons.  Thursday no workout, very very low cal day Friday Ran 2.5 miles, could hardly eat today so ridiculously low calorie day Saturday Ran about a mile, wanted to give my body a break since I am not eating well, very low calorie...
Welcome back, Lorena, and way to go, Babybearsmommy!  I ate camping food for three days and only ran a mile once.  Wednesday Ran 3 miles, low cal day Thursday Ran 3+ miles, low cal day Friday no workout, binged on PB cookies over man drama (ex and current) Saturday Ran 3+miles, low cal day Sunday no workout, low cal day Monday no workout, mod cal day
Wednesday 1 mile run, mod cal day Thursday 1 mile run, low cal day
Hi, Holland, that's great for so little sleep!   Lorena, I love the picture!   Sunday 2 mi run, low cal day Monday no workout, low cal day Tuesday 2 mi run, mod cal day
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