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Posts by karne

Thanks for the replies everyone--they all helped, and they were so REAL.  I needed that!  I know myself, and I am happiest when my kids are happy, and my family feels settled.  This feels like an unsettled time, as if we are all trying to feel our way toward new, more mature relationships, and it's a little rocky, lol.  So, the poor decision making is not dangerous stuff, it's mostly school work related, friendship related, texting related, etc.  But, she's an honors...
I'd love a little support here.  I am finding 13 harder than I thought it would be, and for sure, harder than anything else yet.  It feels sort of textbook, but pretty much we went from fairly easy, very connected feeling child to a growing, privacy seeking hormonal teen in what feels like a split second.  Hard to catch my breath sometimes.     Most of the time I enjoy the ride because despite the angst, there are lots of good things happening, and a lot of positive...
I think therapy for yourself is a great idea--that's where I would start, not with putting your dd in therapy.  It is our responsibility as adults to make the first moves to changing a situation, or even just understanding the situation.  I have found a world of difference between 11/12 and 13--it's not always easy, in fact it's pretty challenging sometimes.  But we have to be the parents and step up to the plate and do the work ourselves to parent effectively during...
I completely agree with the above.  The choices, activities and groups that a kid is a part of will influence their experience to a large degree.  We have had a fairly positive social and academic experience at our local middle school, and my child has great teachers and a good peer group.  Nothing is perfect, but it works for her.  I do hear stories of other kids having difficulty, and some serious issues, but they haven't touched my dd's school life.   I would dig a...
This. Exactly.  This is far, far, from the most embarrassing, or most important conversation a mom will have with their teen daughter.  Just because it's difficult, or you aren't sure about the boundary, or your child looks like they will be mortified, is not a reason not to have conversations.  I do not have this down at all, but what I'm learning is that, at this age, it's better to talk, bring things up, open the door to discussions of the big and little things.  My...
Interesting question.  When I was on swim team, and kids reached the middle school/high school years, everybody was a little more conscious of what was showing.  But, speed was an issue, and it wasn't uncommon for both boys and girls to shave prior to competitons-I think maybe it was more the feel of your skin in the water-I can't quite remember, but it was definitely a pretty common team practice.   Other than that, the middle school/hs boys we know don't wear speedos....
FWIW, no, I don't think this is a good plan for treating or relieving symptoms of ADHD/ADD on a long term basis.  I did know a woman who fed her dd a cocktail of caffeinated beverages in the morning for similar reasons-not wanting to use a drug approach.  The crash was pretty big for her dd, and the results were fairly inconsistent, at best.  I think that the mom felt that she was avoiding drugs, but honestly, her dd was completely over-caffeinated and not helped, so it...
American Girl book The Care and Keeping of You is a frequent rec here.  It's a good first book.
It totally depends on the child and the suit.  Any hair on the leg is going to be visible in a suit that is even slightly cut higher.  My experience is that pre-teen type suits from Justice are like this.  My dd finds boy leg suits comfortable for this reason-Roxy and those type of "surf" brands work well for her.  I think that this is one of those conversations that you can have that identifies shaving, grooming as something that is available as an option, not a...
Another option could be to look for swim suits with "boy shorts" bottoms.  Lots of bikinis come with this type of bottom now.  There's a little more coverage, so that may work for now.  I know my dd likes this style-I do too.
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