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Posts by satsuma

I was interested in knowing the experience of children that go into democratic schools. Are they really as democratic as they claim or is it authority disguised? How is it in the primary age, what kind of activities they do with the kids? I wanted to home-educate but I don't think I can cope with it. My child needs more help than I know how to give and I didn't have the time to grow and mature and need time for myself. But I still want my child to be in an...
That book is poison to me. That poison is the default, common parenting every parent will do when they put their own selfish needs ahead of their child's. Children should not be made responsible of themselves, childhood is about parents being responsible and children giving the opportunity to learn in a welcoming, friendly, loving environment. They will be responsible when they are ready. Being harsh and punishing children like that doesn't help. A parent is too lazy...
Honestly, the site that convinced me the most was nopunish.net His e-book, Parenting without Punishing, has many stories of what he did when his children were young and it's so wonderful that man was so patient and creative. He speaks against spanking, yelling and time outs too. He thinks all of them are fear tools. My relationship with my child was wonderful up to when he was abused by a poorly chosen partner. Although I don't think he was badly traumatised, our...
Is this woman someone whose opinion you should even take in consideration? Did your yelling make your child as uncomfortable as this harsh woman's stares did? Was your child really scared or was he alright? Didn't you comfort him anyway? So what did you do wrong? Nothing, you reacted the best you could in the situation. That woman did wrong though. She is not a very peaceful person if she judged you so harshly, so forget about her. In my opinion and experience,...
Thanks for the suggestions. Quote: Originally Posted by lilyka I also wouldn't repeat myself once I know they have heard me. and if they had a habit of ignoring me I would make sure they heard me the first time (being close, having eye contact, touching them etc . . . ) and help them follow through. But how do you help them follow through in cases they are making annoying noises, going on top of you, undoing your tyding up, going to the...
I always was awful on any kind of routine. I had this idea it was better to let children eat when hungry, fall asleep when sleepy. I always saw routines as something forced and traumatic, but I've been reading routine doesn't have to be that way, it can be something fun the child looks forward to. I think the few issues we have is because of the chaos. I'll be listening for your ideas.
I was enjoying reading Parenting without Punishing, especially the family stories he shared, when I arrive to chapter 10, the one with the most graphic and gratuitous descriptions of parenting practices in the past and most societies, with an obsessed description of sexual practices that I find unnecessary. The most appalling one bit is when he writes about New Guinea mothers: "Their mothers too, readily and commonly prey upon their children for sexual satisfaction,...
My child is 5 and he seems to only listen to him if he fears me. Unless I shout at him in a intimidating he doesn't seem to understand I'm serious. Otherwise, everything I say is a joke or background noise. I try to speak to him in a kind language, I explain him why he shouldn't do certain things and give him alternatives of better things to do, but he doesn't care. I usually don't make a fuss of minor things at all, but he seems to be wanting to do things that are...
I want to home-school my ds (now 5) but I have found that my previous idea of un-schooling doesn't fit us very well. I still find that answering his questions when he asks is the better way for him to learn, but I always feel I am caught unprepared and that he tends to forget things he already learned. I believe now it would be better to start some fun routine that helps him ingrain his knowledge. Many times I feel at a loss and uninspired for activities. I am...
allismom, I think only mothers that are lucky enough to have very calm and intelligent children will not get angry and loose it. Hang in there!
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