I could not read without posting because I've felt this way too
I like Marshall Rosenberg's idea that anger is a need not being met (www.cncv.org).
When I've felt anger at the kids throwing tantrums or crying or whining , I have to ask myself "What needs do I have that are getting thrown out of the window when my kids are upset?"
My answers: Harmony, peace, connection, cooperation, more empathy...etc;
And he also says that it is VERY HARD for us to give others empathy...