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Posts by MsChatsAlot

Hey Janna    How are you?
Hi mmace!!! I'm so glad you stopped in to say hello!  I definitely remember you!  I can't believe it's been that long though! I'm glad to hear you and your family are doing well!!! Thanks for checking in!
I've not been in your situation, butyou are obviously going through a lot.  I have had friends that have been the one who had the affair and these situations are never as easy or simple as they seem to those on the outside.   Can you see a counsellor too?  It would be helpful to have someone neutral to talk to about things.  Cheating and affairs are not creating in a bubble - whatever was going on before it happened is likely still there for you and instead of taking...
Keep talking with your girls, be accountable, be honest, be fair. I'm not sure how much your girls know about the situation. It is difficult for kids when they know what has happened because they choose how they feel about it themselves, but if you are in a good place yourself -- a place of authenticity, integrity and accountability -- your girls will follow your lead.   Your attachment with them will not change, in fact, it might even become stronger.  Do what you need...
That's great!  I especially like the bolded part!!!  That's all that matters!!! 
I'm so glad to see your update!!!  Great news!  I'm happy for you and your family.  Thanks for letting us know how you're doing!
I never wanted to be the reason my kids didn't have a good relationship with their dad. I wanted to give them all the opportunity to know and experience one another for who they are and what their relationship will or will not be. If he screws up -- that's on his shoulders -- not mine.   My ex is not very involved at all and as my kids get older, they see him for who he really is and what he's all about.  They have their own relationship with him and while he's...
I think it's great to date someone different!   As individuals we grow and change and evolve -- so perhaps this man is more what you are looking for right now than what you've dated in the past.   As for the chemistry -- I wouldn't worry about it too much right away.  I know that people really 'grow' on me.  Often, I become far more attracted to someone after I get to know them -- and I have also been turned off someone after getting to know them better too.  You won't...
I would ask yourself some questions and really get to the heart of why this is bothering you . Do you you feel robbed of the opportunity to surprise him?  Are you upset that he made an impulse purchase?  Does it upset you because you feel the mom undermined you?  Are you bothered that he hid it from you?    I think if you ask yourself some questions about what this is about, it will help you realize why it is bothering you and then you can address that. 
I always took time between relationships - especially ones that didn't end so well - to really look at what I did and how I contributed to the mess!  Whatever we don't clean up in ourselves from our past relationships often finds its way into our new ones, so I liked to take the time to learn and grow and evaluate before jumping back into the water.  It's not to say there won't be issues in a relationship, but it's good to progress instead of dealing with the same crap...
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