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Posts by L.J.

If you could let him call, that would be great. Could you suggest drawing a picture or writing a letter that you could send? I have said to my kids at times that I don't know why his dad is busy and can't come. I have said that I miss daddy too, but he can't be with us right now. I think it's important to acknowledge your little one's feelings and do something that will help him feel like he's still connected to his dad. Perhaps looking at the sky and suggesting that...
Hugs to you. It sounds like a very difficult time. I agree that it's best to create some distance so you don't really know what's going on in his life. It helps while you figure out what is happening next and who you are and what you need to do. The beginning of a separation is the most emotional and difficult time. Please find whatever support you need. You will move forward, whether that is with him or on your own and you will be okay.
I think that calling & telling him about the hospitalization and the asthma attack was a wise choice. It probably took 2 minutes of your time and at least you were informing him about things. If the shoe was on the other foot, I would want to know. I think the big things are important to share. If your ex chooses to do nothing, that is his choice. Things like accidents, hospital visits, a new diagnosis, etc. are all important and big issues. For all the time it...
I would definitely stop. If she doesn't like it, she isn't going to get anything out of it. You cannot force someone to do something that they don't want to do or aren't ready to do. I am one of those "rebels" who unschools and has not ever done therapies despite everyone insisting we "should." I have let my son go at his own pace and even though it is about a year or two behind his developmental age, he continues to learn and grow and grasp things as he is able...
Most often I have been frustrated when I have not orchestrated things very well (like the examples you've mentioned). I get annoyed when I want to visit and they aren't cooperating. I get annoyed when I want to shop and they aren't in the mood. So it hasn't taken much to figure out when the best time and way to do things so we avoid the tense moments. There are times when things HAVE to be done that don't work best on their schedule, but I really try to work in...
Food and behavior definitely go together. It can be any food. I've known kids who get all hyper eating eggs so it can be anything or any combination of things. Food colors, food additives, artificial sweeteners are especially common for problems with allergies. White sugar, chocolate (both of which are usually combined with food colors for kids) are also big. It sounds like there are MANY factors involved. Food could help reduce some of the behavior stuff,...
When I thought my kids were going to HAVE to go for overnights they weren't ready for I took them to a child psychologist. I went saying that I was looking to help them adjust, but my main motive was to set up a baseline of their behavior with the psychologist so that if they started to have changes in personality or behavior, we could immediately go back to court and have the order changed with a "professional" opinion to have less or no overnights until they are...
My ex is in a similar relationship. He used to actively participate with the kids and occasionally we did things together as a family. When things got "serious" between them, he went from seeing the kids 2 days per week, to seeing them 2 days per month. Then he didn't take them at all for 5 months. He is not "allowed" to talk to me and we are supposed to only communicate by email. We sometimes talk on the phone, but it has to be during the day when she doesn't know...
In the past when I have felt jealous, I've had the feelings of "why is he happy with her? Why couldn't he be happy with me?" You haven't had a lot of space from him and the lines have been fuzzy. It's hard to think that he could just move on to someone else. The fact is, that if he does move on, he hasn't healed himself and will likely have a lot of relationship problems. When I have felt jealous about men in the past, I have reminded myself why I'm better off...
Happy Birthday to your little one. I know it's difficult when we can't be with those we love for special occasions, but make the most of this very special day and celebrate as much as you can.
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