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Posts by sebandg'smama

I am so very sorry for your loss. -Melanie
I have found great success in keeping silent and focusing on my breathing. Unless there is an immediate physical danger, I don't say a word for a few minutes. I am looking at the person who's words are creating my anger and I just take deep breaths. That way I have some time to listen and not react. Sometimes I do not say a word after time has passed as the issue was resolved by the child venting to me, or I reflect back what they are saying or I respond. Taking the...
Quote: Originally Posted by laohaire Wow. I can totally see how stressful that can be. I can also imagine that the advice to kick her out isn't going to feel like "wow! why didn't I think of that!" for you. I don't have any brilliant gems of wisdom but what occured to me is that it's time for you to start asserting yourself and stop feeling guilty. You CAN go out to dinner just the 3 of you. Yes, your mom will bitch and moan and whine. Can you...
Welcome! and from Hamilton area! -Melanie
Then you should send it. Just know that you are setting your hopes really high that he will have a lightbulb moment, when all your past interactions with him say something else. The only advice I have when dealing with difficult family members is that they need to show you that they want to change and are making steps to do so, in a sense prove it to you. You can never make anyone change. When I started to focus on me and my immediate little family, established...
Does he have a preschool he could go to, give you a bit of a break, him some extra stimulation? I never found 2 or 3 to be hard, but as my friend once called them, the f@#$ing 4s can be really trying. Sounds like you really need a break, I hope you can find one for yourself. -Melanie
Retirement home for your mom asap! My home is my haven, I am very selective to who even visits it. I could never ever have my mother over for more than a dinner a month. Through hard life lessons I have learned that being a martyr is not the role I ever want to play again. I hope that you can have your home back for the health of your whole family. -Melanie
I agree with zinemama, don't send it. It's excellent to get all that out, but will he really read it? So consider it an exercise in journalling, to maybe figure out what you want from him and what he's able to give you. And it sounds like with the emotional maturity of a 13 year old, he is not able to give you what you are looking for. Focus your energy and time into things that bring you joy. -Melanie
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