or Connect
New Posts  All Forums:

Posts by MissLotus

I feel for you, too, OP.  As much as it might seem like things are whirling out of control, you sound very coherent and caring.  It will take time for you to detach yourself emotionally from your ex's issues, but you are fully doing the right thing.  I would pursue supervised visitation before I'd let him see the kids - I think there need to be very real boundaries or the kids will be exposed to the same sorts of stuff again.  He just sounds, in no way, in shape to see...
You can still bounce your grandbabies on your lap someday... you can still enjoy Paris someday... you can still have wonderful times at home with your kids.  Except now you'll do it without an abuser present!  Trust me - that's way better!    If people judge you, then it'll make it easy for you to weed them out of your life.  And it sounds very largely like for the most part, you have very supportive people in your life!  It is rather mind-boggling that the person...
New York has not yet (I don't believed) joined the whole 50/50 custody thing that happens in some states, so I think is more interested in who is the primary caregiver.  But have you spoken with a lawyer?  There's no way around that - you need solid legal advice.  I agree that your ex doesn't sound like anyone that should be around a child, but although in some cases it's ridiculous, you have to appear to be willing for your child and ex to have a relatioship - even if...
Does he legally have visitation - in other words, are you required to let him see the children?  Because if not, that guy should not be caring for children.  That is terrible negligence on his part.  Most clearly, yes, he really is that irresponsible so if there's no legal requirement, he should not be alone with children.  And I would have the doctor who confirmed the heat rash document that - and you should note that it happened while the baby was in your ex's care...
All very well said!    
It's heartbreaking to think of a little kid waiting for her dad that way - and shame, shame on him for his behavior - but I too think it's better to be honest with her, in the most simple way possible, so that she doesn't eat her heart out waiting for him every day.    She will likely take her cues from you - when you tell her (as cheerfully as possible) that it's the two of you now at home, that her father went to another place to live and has some things to do, so...
I've been dealing for quite some time with my ex (who by the way, is the poster boy for Narcissistic Personality Disorder so there is NO discussing anything with him in a rational manner - if he is disagreed with, he flies into an insulting, abusive rage, period).    Our son (10) was invited to play in a fall baseball program this year, and has said clearly that he doesn't want to do it.  He enjoys Little League in the spring, and I am very supportive of him in...
FatherOf3, I appreciate how you seem to be looking at all the angles.  Perhaps she's as unstable as can be, or perhaps she's just situationally depressed.  But here are my thoughts.   You've mentioned how hard she tried to fit in with your family.  This suggests that you view your first family as the anchor, and I understand that.  But this baby, to your wife, isn't merely a bonus round - this IS primary - her central and only focus.  Not to keep trying to make it...
I wouldn't make your son play with this girl.  He doesn't like being around her - with good reason.  Say that your summer is turning out to be really busy, but that you hope she & her family are having a great summer!  Do NOT offer excuses - just be polite and that's good enough.
 "It was over a month since the last incident, so they couldnt help me."   That is terrible!  Do you have to be abused each month in order to qualify for legal aid??!  That makes me furious.  I'm sorry you're going through that.  I also thought legal aid was based on financial need, not on how long it's been since a domestic incident.  It doesn't sound right - I would consult with another lawyer - another women's resource center - a law school if there's one in your...
New Posts  All Forums: