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Posts by MissLotus

He's being terribly controlling, and as I too have a difficult ex, I can more than sympathize.  But your idea about decreasing his parenting time, period, is the best one.  I realize that at the moment he's playing games, not having the kids back, and I hope they come home soon!  But in general, if he wants to bring the kids home early, I would let him - for the kids' sake.  Because first they know their father doesn't want to spend his full time with them, then they...
 "I sent an email to ex and followed up verbally asking him if there was a gate yet and if he could please put one up and he said "I could give two sh!ts about your concerns".  I am trying to be flexible on so much but I feel like I have to draw the line on this.  Would you call code enforcement?"   Heck, YES I'd call code enforcement!!!  Perhaps you can explain you'd like to keep it anonymous, but that a small child is in the vicinity.  Heck, even print out the...
Yes, I was going to say the same thing as Super Single Mama - maybe in your state it's different, but in mine, serving papers yourself is a no-no and would be invalid.    You might have to wait for a court date to get him to move out, but you can indeed get him to move out at some point.  Last year a friend of mine went through the same thing, and had to deal with her STBX for a few months; then they had a hearing, and the judge gave her STBX something like 30-45...
If he has a lawyer, you need one too.  I have a feeling that even though he's offering more, he's still low-balling you and your children are probably entitled to even more!  Their support and what it can mean for their financial security is nothing to guess at - definitely ask for a consultation with a lawyer.
I agree with all the good advice given so far.  You absolutely have to stop listening to anything this man says.  He is a liar.  You absolutely must not make decisions based on anything he says.  Because clearly he will say anything at all to keep you in his control.  Do what YOU need to do.  It doesn't matter what he says.  He doesn't control the way the world works, and he can only control you if you let him!  I understand you've been beaten down emotionally - your...
Updating him on the baby's progress, yes, if you're comfortable with that.  That is something that as an involved father (if that's what he turns out to be) he needs to know.  But if by letting him go to the appointment, you think it will open the door to him expecting to be at the birth (in case you may not be comfortable with that), I would not let him come.   You would not believe how many of these men, who've not been supportive and in fact hurtful during pregnancy,...
I wouldn't let him come to any appointments.  It doesn't matter to the baby whether he's there at those appointments, and it would cause you stress... so there is no up-side.    And you're right - a man that acts that way at a vulnerable time for a woman will act that way ANY time.  He showed you what he really is. Be glad you got out when you did!
It's very bizarre!  "She won't see the baby again once it's born"?  Even if she had no lawyer at all, she could contest that in court.  Even if a judge was stupid enough to give the father custody, judges DO like for both parents to be involved in some way, shape or form, and she certainly would get at least visitation.  It sounds like she's given up, doesn't want to try.  She may be depressed (and it surely is a depressing situation), but darned if mom after mom with...
The thing is, would you even need public assistance if your ex properly provided child support (and perhaps maintenance/alimony) to begin with?  And like someone else said, receiving assistance is nothing to be embarrassed about - I'm assuming you watched the children for him while he forged ahead with his career - well, now you need a leg up, like many women that have put their working/financial lives aside while raising children, to get onto the same playing ground. ...
I was the kid whose mother never gave a party for me.  I was used to it, yes - but it surely would have been nice to have even a small party for my friends once in a while.  It makes kids proud to be able to do that.  It would have been nice if my mother could have reached outside her comfort zone a bit; it's not really that hard to bake a cake and blow up some balloons.  It's great to have parties with just family but it's a fact that kids are going to make their own...
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