or Connect
New Posts  All Forums:

Posts by MissLotus

I wouldn't like those circumstances, either.    I know in some cases people simply can't help it - but if there's any way at all to avoid it, it's wiser not to give the other parent custody unless you're prepared to lose it permanently (you may not lose it permanently, but it does increase those chances).  I see in the OP's post that divorce has already been finalized, yet the visitation agreement is still in flux? so not sure if it was part of the divorce agreement...
Amen to that!    They're not losing a "dad"  -  this person was not a dad to them.  They're only losing an abuser.  Who starved them, and frightened them many times over.  Who did not put their best interests first.    So no, there is no loss here.  No loss they didn't already have.       
I would not leave your child alone with someone like that!  You  mention:    I want to confront her and set boundaries--I want to email her because anytime someone calls her on inappropriate behavior face to face or on the phone, she A. denies it B. starts yelling as loud as she can over them so she doesn't have to listen C. all the sudden literally loses her hearing (she has legitimate hearing problems but it rly "flares up" when she wants to shut you out) D. calls...
No.  A narcissistic, emotionally abusive person will always put himself first.  If he wants to get back together with you it's because he thinks it might be good for HIM - he doesn't really give a crap about you, and you can bet your bottom dollar that if he did get what he wanted, his behavior would be the same as ever.  And... you wouldn't want to put your child through that upheaval.
Who is saying you have to do 50/50 custody?  Has a lawyer told you that's the norm where you live, or is your stbx trying to insist upon it, or what... If you're the primary caregiver and it would benefit your child to keep his routine, certainly don't cave in unless you're legally obligated to.  Plus if you're home nearly all the time, and say, your stbx would be putting him into daycare, then 50/50 custody wouldn't make sense anyway.    No matter how amicable your...
You are putting your child's best interests first - and are being more than generous with time.  In fact, I think it's even too much, given that she really doesn't know him.  "Liberal parenting time" doesn't mean he makes an announcement and you have to abandon your child's whole schedule and sense of stability.  You've offered frequent visits.  If you think that he'll just keep her and not give her back for several days, don't give her over to him and tell him he can go...
Well, you know, Father's Day is coming up soon.. almost time to honor this guy for the fine fathering he's given to your son.   NOT!  
You have taken away nearly all his toys and all social interaction outside of school (playdates).  Doing this will not make his need to be extroverted go away - it will make it WORSE!  Because now home, too, is a place where he can't be free.  Only at home he's threatened with being hit if he doesn't comply, so actually home is worse than school.   I agree there should be consequences, but taking away all of a lively child's outlets is not wise and will not...
Well, I would make it a condition that if he sees the kids at all, then I would FIRST need a confirmable address from him, or no go.  If you can't even track him down to make appropriate legal arrangements, then he should not be seeing the children!   And if he doesn't like it, I would let him take me to court for it... because he sounds too messed up to actually do so, and even if he did, I don't think he'd favorably impress any judge.   I would also stop...
If he lost visitation rights, it was due to his own actions.  Those are simply the consequences - and they do NOT excuse him from being a deadbeat!  If anything, paying support is the very least he can do, considering what he's put you and your children through.      You and your children should not be punished financially simply because you're protecting them from abuse!  And you never need to tell him how you spend the money, it's absolutely none of his business,...
New Posts  All Forums: