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Posts by lavender

My closer friends are supportive. But I don't believe anyone really "gets it" until they've been there. Like I said on another thread, it's a lot like trying to understand parenthood before you become a parent. The other day an older male friend of mine said, because I recently found employment, "Welcome to the real world." I wanted to scream in his face, "Is this YOUR world???"
Big hugs to you. Yes it is hard, so hard. I am just approaching the one year anniversary of when I left. So much has changed in the last year. But we are all alive and healthy. We still find ways to laugh. The decision is huge. Just beginning to live with it, knowing you are going to keep living with it and asking yourself how. It's overwhelming. You can do it. Breathe, love your kids, and remember, it's one step at a time. Some big steps, some little steps,...
Years ago, before I was a single mama, when dh would go out of town for weeks at a time, then come home and study for hours on end, when our relationship began its slow, steady exhalation and when he said the words I will never forget, "I'm not attracted to you and I never will be", I said to a close friend or two, "I feel like a single mom most of the time." How could I possibly know the difference? Today, I am a single mama. I work two jobs (one I love and one I...
Thank you so much, ladies. You all have good advice, concerns, observations... I've been so busy, I haven't gotten back to reading and responding to this post. I haven't been on MDC in so long, I couldn't even figure out how to get to TAO! Took me two days! I am going out of town for the weekend to visit my dying Grandmother. Maybe I'll be able to read and respond from there. So, I've got to go pack, and I'll check back and give you updates when significant things...
Life is a funny thing. You just never know... I read this thread and realize what denial I was in over the state of my marriage. I wrote that I was content, happy. I was trying so hard to hold things together. My husband and I were already on a major downward spiral and had been for at least three years. I know things now that I didn't then, and can see the patterns and issues more clearly. From the very beginning, we've had communication problems, stemming from his...
belovedk, I've been wanting to get back to you with feedback on your poem and since I'm not so much into poetry (though I'm trying to learn to be) I haven't really known what to say (except that I wish you success in managing his illness and I'm so glad you have a place to direct and release your emotions regularly). So...thank you for your patience. After reading the second version, my reaction is much clearer I think because is so much more powerful. And the questions...
BellinghamCrunchie, thank you for taking the time to comment. Oh, so much to think about. My intention with the ending was to leave the reader wondering whether or not we make it to shore. Maybe I should rewrite to clarify that uncertainty. It's so hard, because sitting here at my desk, I want to change it, to think we survive. But when I am able step outside of any attachment to the story, I want to keep it interesting and dark. Know what I mean? “I wanted to see more...
I get up early, well before the kids. I've been out of routine for a while, sleeping in and taking some time off in the summer, so now when I get up early I have that queasy feeling kind of like jet lag and need to finish waking up before I can write legibly. I write in a notebook and transfer it to computer if I want to share it. For sleeping, our family shares the big bedroom upstairs, which frees up the downstairs rooms. One is a guest bedroom, and one is what we...
I like the second choice--containing within same thread. I think it could work nicely if, at the beginning or end of each piece, the poster would specify what type of feedback they are looking for, or request not to have any. The point would be to specify every time. If someone doesn't, the default could be either none at all, or just the pat-on-the-back type which, although not that useful, feels wonderful.
It is a perfect sunny spring afternoon, the first warm day of the year, and I am driving the boys over to the west side, driving along and listening to music, and then something is not right. I find I have let loose on the connections between my eyes, my mind, my body, my hands, the steering wheel and suddenly we are out of control and I see the windshield as a frame full of bridge railing. We are racing toward the edge of the Hawthorne Bridge, screaming over the wide...
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