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Posts by mamallama

Oh wow.
Here's an interesting article from the BMJ. Doing something sometimes eases the parents' minds, for sure. Doing something always decreases the ob's liability, perceived or otherwise. I get how excruciating the last little bit is, I really do. I supported a good friend through her loss and her second birth. It was beyond nerve wracking. The evidence, though...from what I can tell, the evidence doesn't tell us much.
Holy macarooni, GoBecGo, that is a phenomenal piece of writing! Thank you so much for putting my anger into words! All I could manage was f-this, f-that, and f-you...so I didn't. I am copying for future reference. Y'all are right about my inner mama bear. I practice that, Protecting the Gift style. I know specifically how I would protect myself and my family in a variety of situations. I've lived in high crime areas since I left my parents' house--self...
I'm so sorry. I can tell how concerned you are. If I were to take a stab at what led someone from college teacher to manual laborer living in his parent's basement, I would guess that he was never in love with his field in the first place. Maybe it was a career he felt pushed into. Maybe he got in and found it to be something different from what he expected. Or, maybe, like you, he can't stand to be cooped up in an office with people he doesn't like. Or it...
Wow--thank you so much, ladies! LROM, thank you for that post! I appreciate everyone taking the time to support me. I thought I had done a good job maintaining privacy....but when I googled my maiden name today, the one and only hit was the county recorder's website. It lists the property we own, our mortgage company, and my married name. We bought the house before I changed my name. So, just by googling my maiden name, there's my married name. I'm really...
Oh no--mom did not friend him back! She's in denial, but not that deep! She makes noises like she has regrets about not nipping it in the bud 22 years ago. I've redirected the conversation; I'm not about to absolve her, I'm not ready to confront her. She's all annoyed that she has a pending request that she doesn't know what to do with. I'm annoyed she thinks her "problem" with unresolved friending on facebook is even worth mentioning to me. My mom is special, for...
Thanks, mamas. I can't believe I left this out. During that time period I had a friend (not a close friend, but we'd had sleepovers when we were little) who was murdered by her boyfriend. It was a big national case. He nearly got away with it. It's hard to separate the personal from the political. During my college years I worked on domestic violence awareness. Realistically, I tell myself that this guy is not a huge threat. I am concerned that he'll show up...
I was a teenager--14 when it started. He was 16. He was the first guy I seriously dated. When I write that, it sounds crazy. Why is a 14 year old seriously dating anyone? But I did. My parents allowed it. My mom was married at 15 and had me when she was 16. I can see why she wasn't particularly alarmed by our relationship. He was controlling. He told me who I could be friends with and who I could talk to. I wanted out after a couple of months, but it was so...
The previous posters have given a good run down on why the doctor's recommendation is not evidence based. My advice to the new doula is to not get too attached to the outcome. It sounds like mom has chosen a caregiver that isn't supportive of vbac. She chose her caregiver. Educate, certainly, but it's not within the doula's scope of practice to convince women to listen to them, or to "save" women from their own poor choices. Good luck! I hope it works out!
While I think it's admirable that you want to gift your friend in such a huge and generous way, I have to wonder if it will be as straightforward as it sounds. I wonder what kind of emotions she might bring with her, and how that might affect you while in labor. I invited a childless friend to my homebirth (like you, it was because I wanted to help her.) I had to ask her to leave when she couldn't stop fidgeting & talking. Her feeling were really hurt--she didn't...
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