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Posts by karina5

Ooops, I thought I was done but I'm not, ! Veganone said: Quote: I have a BIL who is now 29 and is still exactly like the OP's son. You do need to set some boundaries and I agree that the longer you wait the harder it is for them to change. Her point, as was mine, is that these habits can become very ingrained, not that he is now 29 years old.
Quote: Originally Posted by kathymuggle Karina5 - I think you are being argumentative, and I am not sure why All I think is that patience is in order. You disagree - that is fine. I also have several BTDT - I can think of 3 members of my family who "loafed" around in early, early adulthood. All 3 are working now and not sponging off of anyone. One of them does play Wow, but he pays for it himself, lol. For the record, I am not against the...
Quote: Originally Posted by kathymuggle Maybe my idea of expectations are different from yours. For example, if I go visit my mom I will drive her around, she will be gratefull and happy I drove her, but it is not an expectation. I don't have to and she would not lay that on me. We are adults and free to live our own lives. I think there is pressure that can come with trying to live up to anothers expectations that is not always healthy. I...
Quote: Originally Posted by kathymuggle The easy one first - I totally hear you on the last paragraph! You are clear. The trickier one second - and I am thinking and writing at the same time, so this is not a fully formed hypothesis..... I am not sure we should have expectations of adult children. I do not have expectations of my adult sister for example. I do not have expectations of my mother. I do have expectations of my husband - but that is...
Quote: Originally Posted by kathymuggle This is MDC, home of gentle discipline and attachment parenting. I do not think these things abruptly end simply because a child (young adult) has hit a certain age. I think we should wean our children from our financial support in much they same way we wean them from others things. I do not think freeloading at 19 = being a freeloader for life. What is with the black and white thinking?????? If you are...
Quote: Originally Posted by kathymuggle They are not even allowed to drink in the USA until they are 21. So I guess the law does not see them as complete adults. Kathy You know what's funny? Is if it was that her son (or hypothetical daughter) was going to be a parent then there would be lots of support that a teenage kid/adult can be a great parent, they are capable, and so forth. But suggest that that same teenage kid/adult...
Quote: Originally Posted by tug i agree. i was referring to the references to throwing him out of the house not to cutting off WoW or the internet or cable. Oh, whew! Yeah, I don't think that would be right to do immediately. I'm not a big "tough love" person although I do feel that it can work in some cases. But not typically as the very first thing to try.
Quote: Originally Posted by tug I would just say this, before you start trying "tough love," consider reading "live through this" by debra gwartney. it's about a mother who becomes estranged from her daughters and they become more and more wild. she tries the tough love approach because people expect her to and it backfires in a really big way. it's a true story and she does a lot of thinking about why she reacted to things the way she did and how she...
I don't think coasting for that long is a good idea AT ALL. He's at an age where it would be best to help cut bad habits before they get even more ingrained. The more "normal" the sleeping all night, playing too much WoW (dang that game seems to be ruining families....it's really weird), and bumming smoke $ is, the more likely that he will want (and expect) things to be this way. Sorry, but I highly doubt he will change on his own, and if there is a time to be firm...
Regarding the washer on the fritz and the cloth diapers...could you give up the cloth diapers for just a while? Trust me, I know that they are better environmentally and many people feel their LO's bottom is better w/ cloth diapers, too, but since we are talking about what you can do to get by for a while, you could get free diapers pretty easily. When DS was little there were several community centers that were great about giving free diapers to us temporarily when we...
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