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Posts by momtostepteens

I will try to do some more one on one w/ him, but I usually get told by his father that the boy doesn't want to be stuck with me all the time...so I butt my head up against the wall w/ him more times than not. His father still says that the boy should be able to stay at home by himself while we work and keep himself out of mischief...my retort has been....he has proven that he is not mature enough to be here by himself and I prefer that he is not here alone....that I have...
Girls are doing ok....oldest one left over a year ago for school...and the other one talks to me about these things and has said that she doesn't blame me and that the boys truly need some help...and that things were a heck of a lot better when the boys lived full time w/ us.....but life changes and that we don't always have control over what happens. DSS did his punishment today (by the way, the yard work he did so far looks fabulous) and he and I had some one on one...
This has been going on for more than 5 years...with each one of the SS's doing the stealing at one time or another.....it has not been an easy road. I did put my foot down w/ DSS and told him that if he wanted to continue to come here that the stealing will stop, otherwise he will be staying at his mom's full time and will not be allowed to be here to stay here. Dad agrees that this one is not allowed to be here alone anymore and that supervision needs to be required...
Well......this was an interesting evening..... Yes, he finally admitted to taking the items...yes, he admits he went into the rooms by jimmying the locks....(which will be fixed tomorrow)...yes, he is going to be punished w/ hard labor at my other house (don't jump me on this one...he is 13 and should know right from wrong and is going to be doing yard work all day tomorrow)... I had a sit down chat w/ him alone afterwards....I asked him if he wants to be...
Neither of the parents think that they need any counseling....and this time, it was step son #3...so all of them have pulled the same stunt... The first time SS #3 stole the personal items and underwear.....this time he jimmied the lock on both our bathroom door and bedroom door and stole a present for his father out of our closet....no clue if he has taken other things as yet. Yes, this is a off and on thing, but I think the older two boys have stopped....this one...
Good Afternoon..... Let me give you a little background.....3 step sons...17, 16, and 13...we have the boys every other week in the summer and 3 weekends out of the month during school...2 bio daughters....20 (out on her own) and 19 (here until college starts next month). We have had a problem with each of the step sons during the past 7 years of taking both mine and my daughter's underwear and personal items (i.e. tampons and pads)..the two older boys seem to have...
I think I need to clarify something to you, Bronxmom......I DID NOT THREATEN TO CALL THE COPS ON HIM....I merely clarified that what he had done WAS against the law....and that yes, his mother was wrong in saying that there was nothing that could be done by the law anyway. I thank the people that have attempted to help me thru this situation.
Well, it was definately a better weekend than the one before it. My SS and I sat and chatted while I was working...he apologized for taking things......and I apologized again for blowing up at him....I asked why he wants such things...he just shrugged and said I don't know.....he was obviously embarassed....I did ask him if he knew how he made myself, my daughter and his aunt feel by him taking and doing such things.....he just shrugged......so I told him that it felt...
I know all about this......my father was gay....and having grown up with this....I have many tell tale ways of knowing this...... I feel this is a case of a young man and misunderstanding boundries....If given the help he needs, he will be fine.....and I know this in my heart and wish for it every day. As the step parent, my hands are bound in certain ways....BUT that will always be the case, not only for myself, but for most all step parents. After discussing this...
Quote: Originally Posted by Yoshua i would wait to see what happens with that talk before I worried about any of the next steps. Really glad to hear the good start you have. If he doesn't open up to me, that is ok......I just want him to realize the effects of his actions on others....and that taking (stealing) is against the law.....and if he does this to someone again, there could be MAJOR reprocussions (SP?) for his actions. If he wants...
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