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Posts by springmama

Yep, this would be a lot more clear cut if he were a monster and I'm thankful that we aren't dealing with something like that. It's time for me to grow a spine and be able to stand up for myself and my family without quivering in fear that I pissed somebody off. We've let him know we want to talk about the core issue and resolve the hurt between him and dh but he doesn't want to and says he doesn't want anything to do with dh anymore. He's admitted that he thinks dh is a...
I tried to quote but I couldn't figure out how to type outside of the quote box! What you said about wanting kids really resonated with me. When I was a teen at my lowest point, the thought of seeing life through so that I could be a mom someday really kept me going. I would think about how if I didn't hold on then I would never live to have children and it sustained me through the hardest years of my life. Of all the things to look forward to having kids was the light...
Rightkindofme you keep hitting the nail on the head. Thank you! All this drama has shown me that I have a lot I need to work on within myself, I've got to learn to be happy and ok with me and see myself and my little family for what we really are and not what others think of us. We're not perfect but we aren't the monsters that he's making us out to be. If he wants to hate dh and let that ripple down to the kids and me then there is NOTHING we can do to stop it. That...
I am glad that you are comfortable here! Hugs to you mama, sounds like you have been through a lot and experienced things no one should ever have to go through. How amazing and strong you are! You are here alive and well because of your strength, because you were able to pull yourself up and begin the process of healing. No you don't need to up your meds, you need to keep on doing what you are doing. Medicating yourself won't make it go away, keep working through...
Yes, that does make some sense. I think I also need to stop worrying about what everyone else in the family is going to think and I need to stop trying to please everyone. As the day wears on and this eats away at me I can't help but fret over every little thing. You're right dh and I will just have to see how it feels at the time.  
Wow - you are extremely insightful! Your post brought me to tears. I guess I thought that as long as we were good enough then he would want us in his life even though he has this huge issue with dh and a difficult time with the kids. He's so passive aggressive that I feel he is going to really make us look horrid if we don't call him and invite him to things that involve the whole family.  But for the past two years I have been going above and beyond to have a...
Yeah I guess you are right. I'm just worried that he didn't listen to my message about us wanting him in our lives but that we are going to leave the ball in his court. Emotionally I just don't think I can attempt pursuing him anymore.
Thanks, this hurts so much but I think eventually we will reach a point where the pain isn't so crippling. In a way it is comforting to know what he really thinks of us and to have it confirmed that he doesn't want to be around us. So for all our years of knowing this deep down but still trying with him and being rejected time and time again and having this awkward fake relationship with him we can relax about it and STOP putting forth the effort.   He blames us 100%...
What helps for me is to realize that the majority of parents are doing the best they can. To be honest when your 1st babe is a young infant it is really easy to make all of the choices you want for them and your lifestyle but that changes as your child grows and especially if/when you have more babies. It's hard to see it sometimes but everyone's life cirumstances effect the choices they make for their kids and you just have to keep in mind where they are coming from. I...
Well today of all days you know what hit the fan and it looks like we won't be speaking to my FIL anymore. After years of being given the cold shoulder by FIL and his wife we finally spoke up and it didn't go well. The whole family lives really close and they lavish attention, money etc. on the other sibling and grand-kids and treat us like we hardly exist. I even got involved and asked why we don't ever get invited to things, why they don't make any attempt at a...
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