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Posts by Kate&Joey

 I hope not, but I'm sure his ex badmouths him because no one really knows the truth.  On the flip side, I bet my XH tells all of his people how I won't "allow" him to see DS and that he spends so much money on CS that he's broke...or some such nonsense. And I agree with you about letting him off the hook.  That is why I'm so reluctant to terminate his rights...because then I'm telling him he doesn't bear any responsibility after all.  And who's to say he won't waltz back...
 Ha!  Well, I'm remarried and definitely got a good one this time.    We would like for DH to adopt DS so I need to get going on the termination process. And you're exactly right about how the system is set up.  DH wants to be a parent to DSD so he dutifully pays his CS without complaining and is always wanting more parenting time rather than less.  But those who can't be bothered are rarely punished. I wonder if there are some statistics as to what percentage of men...
 Gotcha.  I totally understand.  It sucks that the default is that men walk away from their kids and there are no consequences.  Hearing stories like this makes me more apt to pursue terminating XH's parental rights rather than hoping 'the system' will catch him one day.
 @Smartmama - I am insulted on your behalf!!!  How can he pay so little for two kids???  Ugh.  So frustrating!  Do the kids have a relationship with him?  Do you have any enforcement orders in place or contempt charges filed?  
 No one can imagine it. His family is disgusted by him.  I'm trying to gain 'good karma' points and I facilitate a relationship between DS and his bio-dad's family.  He spends some holidays and summer time with them.  I have made it very clear that his bio-dad is not to be present though. @Springshowers  - Why can't you guys agree?  Won't the judge decide if the two of you can't agree?  You can't stay like that forever?!
 Back when XH was still involved and made a mediocre attempt at paying CS, this was the same story.  He was supposed to be paying slightly more than the state minimum (mind you, he has an MBA) and was always behind.  Said he couldn't afford to pay me anything because he had to pay the down payment on he and his roommate's apartment.  Seriously?  If I decided to not pay for our son, then what???  How is a grown ass man's living situation more important than your own...
 Yes, it is crazy.  We divorced three years ago and he has seen DS twice since it was official.  He paid CS for a while, but was always behind and now hasn't paid in going on three years.  He hasn't spoken to DS (or responded to my texts or emails) in over two years.   It is all quite bizarre.  He was a stay-at-home dad for over a year after DS was born.  It is really disheartening that he abandoned his only child and thinks he can "opt out" of parenting.
 @Springshowers  - do you mean me?
I filed for divorce in late February / early March.  XH officially moved out about a week later (he did some stupid things that delayed his leaving...I was extremely annoyed by his antics) and left the state where we lived.  We were officially divorced almost exactly a year later.  He refused to acknowledge any of the legal proceedings.  I had to have him served.  Then I had to schedule a court date since he wouldn't respond to my attorney's draft divorce agreements.  I...
Brown rice bowls with peanut sauce, crispy tofu, and sugar snap peas
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