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Posts by bonamarq

Hugs - it's a nervous time for sure - and in the end life is just uncertain - now once you detect a heartbeat you can rest easier b/c your chance of a miscarriage is much less - but even when everything is 'textbook perfect' there are no guarantees and that is just the hard part of being a parent (you know, to be a mother "is to decide forever to have your heart go walking around outside your body. ..."   After a miscarriage with my first preg (which took me years to...
Let me preface my statement by saying that the major part of my professional job is to teach and train parents and teachers about positive behavior support and rewards (but not punishments) are a big part of that - I work with families affected by autism from all across the spectrum and while I feel great about what I do overall, I am certainly conflicted about the rewards part of things for all the reasons given by Kohn and others on the topic - but for many it is a...
1love4ever - I do buy the annie fruit snacks - they are the only ones I'll give her and ONLY in her packed school lunches - yes they are high in sugar but at least they have 100% vit c (and this is her 'treat')   This is how bad it is here in WV - my friend (from MA) was at her son's LL game and said the other team was HUGE (fat) and she nearly died when a rather large child - on a hot day in the middle of the game- was being given CHEESE STIX DIPPED IN MAYONAISE for...
I see this as a CONSTANT battle with society at large - I don't allow dyes and HFCS in the house but at 7yo I don't have total control of what dd eats anymore - soccer team snacks are a big one Was SO PROUD that dd THREW AWAY the drink from one family that gave out the plastic 'barrels'  of pure dye and HFCS - POISON  IMO) And at a b-day party I encouraged her to get the ice cream that was NOT neon blue or green (even tho ALL the other kids were getting it) I have...
I just wanted to add that I have a dd the same age (12/03) who has always been very dramatic and taking an authoritarian/critical tone always backfires - she has gotten mean and spiteful when called out for her mistakes and it is one (of many) reasons why we have really never done the typical time outs with her - It's hard sometimes but I find that just calling her out with a more playful  smile and a "nice try but you know the rules' sort of thing works WAY better for...
    This is too sweet for words -
For lots of kids the WHY STARTS as a strategy to keep a conversation going when they don't have the skills to do it any other way(but by 4 it probably IS a habit) - It was always easier for me to handle the why's if I kept that in mind - although my dd didn't go over board with this - I would do your best, as others have suggested to keep turning it back to her or direct the conversation to something she can more easily have a give and take with... your short, to the...
You ARE doing something - teaching gentle touch and trying to prevent the behavior as much as possible -   Two quick things to add - when you hang out in the gated off area with dd your son may get more angry? - he may be very jeaolous of his new sister right now - coupled with his lack of impulse controlmeans he hits and really cannot help it - make extra effort to give him special 1:1 time where he is in control of the play and make it as physical as possible - I'd...
Ughh - I feel for you  - my FIL definitely did not get my style of parenting - thought I was way too 'indulgent' and 'needed to cut the cord' with the whole co-sleeping thing... And ANY misbehavior on her part (also high energy and impulsive - but overall a GREAT kid) was PROOF that I was doing things WRONG...Despite that for years my JOB has been as a parent educator and behavior specialist...but apparently I know nothing?   I think he was out of line to call the...
I'll give you my take on it - as someone who had intended to be TV free with only occasional videos seen together as a family (that was my pre-parenting ideal) In reality my dd (now age 7) is exposed to more TV than I EVER thought I'd be comfortable with, but here is MY line in the sand and that is COMMERCIALS (and of course age appropriate, no sex, minimal violence -  ie battle scenes if integral to the story plot and not graphic are ok - not great - but ok)   We...
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