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Posts by bonamarq

Depression and anxiety are very common in teens with asperger's and can, for some, be a life saver - what you describe to me (I work with, but do not diagnose, people on the spectrum doing what we call Family Focused Positive Behavior Support) seems more like  SPD with mild asperger like traits??? - just because she prefers a limited social life and prefers to be alone does not mean she has aspergers It turns to AS if she is UNABLE to read social situations and...
My dh is 'to the right' of an aspie ; ) he has anxieties and alot of difficulty putting dd's needs before his own - and expects her to be more of an adult than she is capable - she is now 7 yo - they have a good relationship and she is more like him than me, so they connect in a different way (although she and I co-sleep and are incredibly close) so I can understand to an extent what you are dealing with.   I also work with people (of all ages) on the spectrum, so I...
I love the nature themes too   DH and I strongly considered Cedar for boy or girl but passed on it in the end - I also love Brook, Forest and River :)   but we ended up with Kyleigh....
I struggle with this myself - dd is also 7 and shows signs of perfectionism in some ways (and her dad is  and my dad was like that and it's not a quality I want to foster) I hate to see stuff done half-a$$ but, like others have said there is tremendous value in knowing what is "good enough" - In fact i have always prided myself on that particular skill and get irritated with dh when he goes IMO - overboard...   Right now I have said very little - I also don't...
Thanks for the replies everyone - I was expecting a bit of variety - but I'm glad to see there is a general consensus that it's okay and really - that the kids should know the rules of their own house - At 9 I would guess the child knew that it was or was not okay to invite a neighbor into the yard to play - the person who brought up the snack issue has a good point - but as I said she was only there for about 15 min...
I think something that has not been said, and I know this is how my own brain works - is that if this consideration of ds's attitude will make it easier for you to move on then I think it's fine to frame it that way - I tried for years to get pg (and finally did, dd is 7 yo) but I worked hard to appreciate my life w/o children and to try to come to a place of acceptance about it - You have some good reasons to stop TTC regardless of your son's opinion, but if this...
I have met the parents numerous times and even when she was 3 they were like "she's fine, don't worry" but we were not comfortable at that age - I was operating along the lines of the pp who said at 9 (the neighbor child) should know what is okay and felt like my knocking on the door to check would be more of a bother than having an extra kid in the back yard on the swings for a bit - dd knows that we DO NOT want her to go in the house since that is more of an...
My dh and I had a minor disagreement here and I want some input - My dd, 7yo, was talking with the neighbor kids in the back yard, separated by a fence - the neighbor had a friend over (I think it was actually the girl who used to live in my house - we've lived her 3 1/2 years) The children are older by a couple of years and my dd has played over there but it's very infrequent given schedules and age difference etc - Certainly when she was younger one of us always...
I agree with the pp - what you did (and granted I have not read the book) was pretty great - Ignoring our children when they have  upsets conveys a message that strong feeling are not acceptable and we are not there for them when they need us - they want, more than anything to be understood! You conveyed that beautifully and used two common tools from the how to talk books - acknowledge the feeling and then make it real by writing it down!   Giving in would have...
I didn't read all the replies so forgive me if I repeat - I did read enough to agree with those that say this is not out of the ordinary... In classes that I teach on behavior we talk alot about 'setting events' - these are things that make behaving our best more difficult - if not impossible - they inlcude being tired, hungry, sick, or things just not going your way...  (imagine yourself getting a traffic ticket and THEN being asked to be your nicest and most courteous...
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