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Posts by captain optimism

How are you doing, OP? Is everything going OK? 
I keep thinking about this post and coming back here and not knowing what to say. I'm so glad Linda on the Move posted from her own experience.    You need to talk to your DH.    You are your son's mother, and you have a right to raise him according to your values. I would even say, you have an obligation to do that. His father's values, whether good or bad, do not trump yours.    One focus of gentle discipline for me has been, what will equip the child to be...
I think I was lucky that I perceived my child as easy and delightful. He probably wasn't any easier or more delightful than any other toddler--an age group not generally known for its easy delightfulness. What it meant, though, was that when I felt pressured to parent differently, I would look at the kid and say, "But I'm clearly doing something right!"   Now, you know what you need to do. Look at the kid. If she is learning all the time, and doing funny, cute...
  Wow, that is a relief. I mean, that you got someone who was really in the know who didn't think you needed ADHD meds. It also sounds great to me that she doesn't think he has attention issues.    I think your son is a kid and that if you can find another, better school for him, one where they don't do everything in their power to make him behave badly, you should get him in there. Your current school sounds like a bad fit. (I wanted to add something sarcastic like,...
  The welfare reform law happened in 1996. That is 17 years ago. Usually a generation is 20 years. The changes to the law in 1996 changed the name of the program, imposed a limit on the number of years any individual could be on it during her lifetime, and imposed work requirements. It also turned the program into federal block grants to the states. AFDC, the previous program, was administered by the federal government, and TANF, the program after 1996, had to be...
  I know this is off topic.    What are the statutes about stalking in your state? Can you get a restraining order on this person? You don't work with him anymore, you have no personal relationship, there's no conceivable reason why he should ever visit your house. I'm so sorry you're living with this kind of thing. 
  So, let me get this straight, again. I already noticed that you said this.    You quit a job without another job to go to because YOU were being harassed. Then YOU collected unemployment, because of your fabulousness in figuring out a way to pursue redress.    Leaving aside the number of times in this thread that you, personally, have seemed to be criticizing others for taking unemployment--again, not totally sure that you're saying what you mean all the time because of...
    Yes, that's what I'm saying. I think we put a lot of people into situations where they don't have good choices, and we shouldn't complain that they make bad choices under those circumstances. A lot of those situations involve family members with disabilities, racial or gender discrimination in hiring or in the workplace, sexual harassment in the workplace, unplanned pregnancy and domestic violence and abuse. We also have a whole lot of people who don't finish school,...
  Wow. That is just amazing. You actually knew what this woman should do to get legal protection, and instead of telling her, right here right now, you went on for pages and pages about how she was choosing not to work. And NOW, you admit that this information is not perfectly easy to find, but you have no sympathy for people who can't find it because you found it when it was more difficult.    How do you do your job? I mean, you work with the public helping people find...
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