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Posts by captain optimism

Mine is a singleton and pretty mellow, so nothing really bad. Once when he was 3, he found a box of my tampons and popped them all out of their wrappers and applicators. It was hard to keep a straight face.    When he was around 4, he used to also go into the bathroom and putter around in there. When I'd ask, "What are you doing?" he'd say, "I'm not making a potion, that's for sure." 
Well, the great thing about pregnancy was being excited about the baby. I spent a lot of time laughing at the baby turning over inside. The great thing about childbirth was that at the end, I had a baby!    The great thing about parenting is I do it with my son. Sometimes he makes me laugh with just plain delight, and sometimes from his jokes, and sometimes from his sweet way of talking. He's really smart and he presents another view of the world. We can share some...
 I want to thank you for recommending this book. I am already divorced from The Passive Aggressive Man, but I hadn't known that someone wrote a book about him. I immediately Googled the book and read the essays summarizing its content. Even now, though the book hasn't yet come in at the library, I feel the miraculous sense of relief from recognizing his behaviors laid out in a systematic way. It's as though, by existing, this book has validated my experience.  For all...
 I see, it's a negotiation strategy. Got it!  
I think you're right that you shouldn't discuss your dad with your mom. Don't make it about how you feel bad when she says negative things about him, though. Make it about your relationship with her. You want to get along with her, and that's why you don't want to discuss your dad. It's true, she is an abuse survivor, but this is also about how he's your father. In the same way that when people divorce, they can't really discuss the other parent's shortcomings with the...
Very well. You are right and I am wrong. 
I love it that you crunch the math when parenting. That is what I imagined, from your .sig, actually. Now that I have a kid who is a math person, I find that description of parenting logic as number crunching tremendously charming. (I know he is my kid because he looks like me, even though he likes math so much that it could be confusing.)  Family life does involve some degree of utilitarianism. The thing that saves us is that children are smart enough to know our...
Yes, see, it was my impression that some people were asserting that a benefit of using time-outs as a punishment was to toughen up the child. If you read the thread, you will see that some posts are making a claim of that nature.    I do agree with those who think that the use of time-out as a punishment is something we should limit. It is a way of withdrawing positive approval. Obviously, most of us agree that in some situations, even as a punishment, it has utility and...
 Well, I'm sure that sometimes teachers wind up scolding children unfairly. In this case, the child was sufficiently impressed with the unfairness of the situation that she told her mother about it. It was not something that she took to heart so much that she wasn't able to handle it, but at the same time, she noticed that the teacher got it wrong.  I don't see any reason why it's important for parents to use (non-violent, of course!) punishments at home to prepare the...
 I was responding to previous posters who had the attitude that it was OK for their children to be punished unfairly, so that they would learn to cope with "a little unfairness."  What's weird is that, when I examine my attitudes about this, I don't think time out is always used as punishment.  I'm not even sure that punishment is always the wrong thing. I think in some situations, when a child understands that he or she has done something wrong, a punishment is easier...
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