I second what MamaJen said. Reach out to her as much as possible.
After all, she could be feeling just as awkward trying to fit in your child's life
I think it would be really helpful, especially after reading this:
Does he love the kids? Yes, in a vague way. He loves them, he just doesn't love having kids. He doesn't love the way kids act. He gets angry, and they get scared of him, and they he gets angry at them for being scared of him, and then...