I just wanted to send hugs your way. I have no life saving sage advice but I do get what it is like to have a horrific sleeper. I don't think there is a magic pill but know that it does get better. My first two were bad sleepers and if they didn't nap they were insane but getting them asleep and stay asleep ruled my life. People didn't understand why I couldn't just (fill in the blank).
I wish you peace and strength.