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Posts by mowilli3

I agree with you, and I'd like to stress the point that spanking is one of many forms of communication and discipline. I've used it only a few times in the 7 years that I've parented two children through extremely stressful times with no family support. So, I have a big bag full of lots of tricks. Yes, there are lots of ways to convey a message about boundaries to a child as well as to adults, but some people in some situations will only respond to force. You have to know...
Hon, follow your instinct. Don't move into that house. Your partner may not make himself accountable for his own actions if he doesn't make his son accountable. If you move in with him, you are going to learn how to set boundaries and protect yourself from people who do not accept responsibility. I've lived that lesson. I can't tell you what to do, wish I had learned the lesson earlier and left instead of  learning from pain and conflict later on and having to heal from...
My DD is blond and fair. My DS has brown hair and is fair, but the brown hair and eyes make him more obviously mine. I am medium black, I'm darkest of my sisters. My children have my whole face, but people could not see that my DD and I look alike. It bothered me for years, but after a while, I decided that it did not matter what other people thought. I know what we look like and she knows. We are very close, so we stick together on this issue. It does make her sad...
I am a black mama of a blond spirally curled biracial daughter. I use the same hair products and techniques for both of us. My hair is course and tightly spiralled. Here's what I do:   Wash with Organic Essence Coconut shampoo and condition in 1 to 4 sections depending on the length and thickness. Use wide tooth comb to detangle while rinsing out conditioner. Apply dime size squirt of almond oil and Knot Today by Kinky Curly to each section. Twist or...
My mother spanked my sister and me and when I first started reading this site, I thought I had been abused as a child. My mom did have a lot of anger and depression, but I have realized that she was under a lot of pressure and it made sense. I don't hit my children in anger. I try not to use spanking at all, but I have spanked my son on his bottom with my hand a few times when he refused to listen or follow my redirection. I love my children. I nursed them until they...
 I was where you are two years ago. I grew up with my mom and grandmother and I wanted that kind of arrangement for my kids and me. It seems overwelming, but you will find your way in the right time.Now I have my house and I'm doing great with my DC without another mom living with me. I love my space. I was working before, so that helped me make the transition, but it's terrifying thinking about the possibility of doing it on your own. But, you can do it. Many of us do....
I used to have that problem, so I made a big change in myself. I said, I will not sit down until the kids go to bed. That got the house clean and I lost 8 lbs! I forced myself to get up and move because I know that I was mildly depressed and if I got up and did something I could change my mood and accomplish something. Now my energy is much higher and I'm really happy.   I keep it simple.   I sweep everything on the floor into a big pile and tell the kids to pick...
This is hard. I have been working on preparing myself for this because I actually do want my ex to have a full life and for myself to have someone else to truly love me and my children. We got divorced 2 months ago and I have not been dating yet. My DS told me that ex introduced them to his "new friend" at his job a couple of weeks ago and I felt a lot of emotions about that. I asked him about it and he said that there was no one, so who knows. Anyway, since I started...
Sounds like good planning and preparation. You do what you have to do. I was faced with this a few months ago. I have the same custody sharing situation and I knew that I could hold on to my house for a few months before I got evicted, so I said the same things you are saying, "How can I get by?"   And you know what? We do get by. Fortunately, my job was spared this year. Next year is a different story, but I won't worry about that either.   I think after you go...
I work a flexible full-time schedule.   Mon 8:30-4:30 with a break from 10-12 so that I can volunteer at the kids' school. Tues 8:30-2:45 telework Wed 8:30-7:15P Office Thurs 6:00-2:45 telework Fri 8:30- 7:15P Office   I love it because I have my kids Mon, Tues, Thurs, and Sat nights, so I get off early and pick them up on time from school. No aftercare on Tues and Thurs. We have a lot of time at home to just take it easy. I feel like I have a part time...
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