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Posts by windsorheightsmom

I can't imagine something like this not bothering a person--a lot. It must be extremely hurtful to feel shunned by your immediate family. Compounding the hurt, your son is probably not going to have the relationship you wanted him to have with his grandparents. My heart goes out to you, having to deal with this on top of two miscarriages. I hope you have a strong support network of friends who love you for who you are.
I would suggest reading Faber and Mazlish, "How to Talk so Kids Will Listen and Listen So Kids Will Talk." Maybe also Brazelton's Touchpoints 3-6. A lot of kids test boundaries around the age she is. Also, if she has just started first grade, she may be holding it together at school and then letting it all out at home.
Can you offer to let your sister come and stay with you for a while? I think she needs to know that you are concerned about her and want to be there for her.
I disagree with Arduinna. Not all children in the same family will thrive at the same school. A public school might be a good fit for one sibling, while another truly needs to be in a private school. It's not necessarily "unfair" to send one child to private and another to a public school.
I recommend trying to find a therapist with experience treating people who have been sexually abused. I am not competent to give you any advice, but as a general rule I think it's not healthy for a marriage for one partner to have a deep dark shameful secret.
I wouldn't say your husband always has to go visit him by himself, but I agree with the other advice given. You don't need to answer the phone. Let him talk with them on his cell. Your visits with the kids should be very rare occasions--your husband can choose to spend more time with his parents if he wants to.
I apologize if this reply is inappropriate, but I think you said it in your title. Life is too short to get annoyed over this kind of thing. I'm not saying you don't have a right to feel annoyed, but this is what my grandfather would have called "small potatoes." My perspective is that of someone whose parents died long before my kids were born. I would give anything to have my parents able to spend any time with my kids, even infrequently, even if they left after a few...
Lots of good advice from others already in this thread, especially peainthepod. Stephenie, you are handling this situation extremely well, and I am so glad your husband is standing up to his parents, which must be so hard when you've been raised around that level of toxicity and manipulativeness. As time passes you will truly stop caring about their lies about you--the important thing now is to keep your family's distance, not keep track of the latest crazy thing the...
There is no excuse for what they did to you, but probably they were acting out of fear/insecurity rather than maliciousness. Maybe they were afraid you would change your mind, so they told you what they sensed you wanted to hear while you were pregnant. Now they have the baby and they feel threatened by having you around. Absolutely pursue all legal rememdies to make sure they compensate you for expenses and pay you what's in the contract.
Is your husband in denial about how serious this incident was? I cannot believe that he told you it wasn't "your place" to warn the parent of a small child about a sexual abuser in the family. Maybe you and he would benefit from seeing a counselor, because it could drive a wedge in your marriage if he consciously or unconsciously wishes you and your daughter hadn't spoken up about the abuse. As for the grandfather's reaction, it is sad, but not too surprising for that...
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