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Posts by Threefold

These are all good points, thank you. Our ds is almost 8, and our dd is 4. We are friends, and do love each other, but so dearly need to go on radically different paths, that we can't stay married and stay healthy. I have thought to tell the kids only what pertains to them, though I suspect my ds will push and push to know more. I need to right words for letting him know he does not need to worry. We have seen a counselor and I hope to see her again before we...
I came to the very painful conclusion that I needed a divorce about a month ago and told stbx soon after. We waited to tell the kids until we had a clear idea of of what our arrangements would be, and that is becoming more clear, at least on my end, and we have a preliminary agreement wrt custody, so the time to tell them is coming. I have two questions for those sage mama's who've walked this rough road: 1) How did you tell your kids? 2) Should I wait until...
I googled CA child custody law and got a great deal of information.
Hey, me too. I just told him last week and he's been livid and angry, though he's actually gone out with more than one woman since then, all under my nose, without my consent. I need him to move out, it's just very painful. Morning is going to come for me much to soon, but I can't sleep tonight. It's the right choice, the only choice, but it's heartbreaking.
It has long been my hope that we could remain friends and have a "good divorce". I was shocked and scared at how angry he got when I finally told him I needed a divorce, not just some more amorphous working it out despite our fundamentally different needs anymore. It's all very new, but I am heartened to hear stories of friendships. No matter what custody arrangement is worked out, the children need both of us, and will do so much better if we are at least friendly on a...
I just did this a week ago and am fluctuating between terrified about the custody decision, so sad and betrayed, and free at last. Overall though I feel like I jumped off a cliff and just can't quite get into my body. I am also in CA and am online reading about how CA is generally a 50/50 state with custody and know I have a fight in front of me as this would not be in the best interest of my kids. How are you living with the custody decision so far? Hang in there.
Oh my. What a chapter it is! I never imagined things would turn out like THIS! I feel so relieved now that I've made my decision after years of knowing deep down it was what needed to happen. Unfortunately, he has not yet moved out, and may refuse to do so. So, how to tell the kids and how to get some space are the next two big hurdles.
Thank you. : Today I am just concentrating on breathing.
I'm new here. Well actually an old timer who's been away. Years ago I used to lurk here when things got tough, but wasn't ready to set my burden down until last Monday when I said I wanted a divorce. Right now I am trying to breathe and see my way through the mists. I'm aware that I have a long road ahead of me, so I'm hoping to gather some more mama's for my support circle.
subbing. . .
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