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Posts by Kiernan

COL is 145 here. I'm very comfortable at $125K - able to cover needs, aggressive savings, and a reasonable amount of wants - but then again I bought my condo 12 years ago for half what it would cost now. Sometimes I think about upgrading to more space, but even with the equity that would require a mortgage between 2-3x what mine is now, and suddenly that income looks a lot tighter. And I'm a single mom, with no backup for income or health insurance, so keeping expenses...
I have a 2005 X3 that went off warranty last summer. I didn't do the extended warranty and so far, have only paid for an oil change. The car runs beautifully and has never given me any trouble. Now, I do live in an urban area and it only has 50K miles on it so that might have something to do with it. But overall I've been really happy with it and plan to drive it into the ground for another five years or so
Quote: Originally Posted by ThisCat But even if your parents divorced sooner, your dad would still have been your dad and you still would have grown up knowing those same traits except you would have had the divorce to deal with too. Yes, but she would have grown up in an environment in which marriage to someone with those traits was not OK. It makes a difference how the behavior is modeled: is it tolerated and thus internalized by the child as...
When you're a responsible person, it's natural to assume that other people would meet their responsibilities if only they could. But some people, like your ex, won't step up unless they have to. Let the court decide, it's what they are there for and you will feel so much better when it's out of your hands and you don't have to constantly ask for the "help" you should be receiving without question.
Asking a parent, sibling or friend to contribute financially to your child's well-being would be asking for help. Expecting your co-parent to support the children he created is not. He's had a pretty sweet deal for the last couple of years, but it's ridiculous for you to be struggling while another parent is present and capable of work.
I can definitely empathize. My son's dad passed away last fall so I am 100% a solo parent. Sometimes I get unbelievably tired not just doing all the physical parenting but all the mental parenting - all the decisions about childcare, school, health, discipline, whatever fall completely on me. I do have great parents and a sister within an hour's drive who will take DS occasionally to give me a break, and that helps tremendously. But sometimes it would be nice at the end of...
Good for you for catching this and addressing it. My late husband could have written your original post about 3 years ago. He liked to drink a little too much, he couldn't have just one, he thought about it a lot, he used it as a stress reliever, etc. Then stress REALLY hit - we suffered multiple miscarriages, he lost his job, a close family member died - and his habit turned into full-blown addiction. It was astonishing how quickly it happened and within two years he went...
He's just flailing about, trying to find an approach that will get you to react the way he wants. As best you can, stay calm and consistent and don't let yourself get rattled. It's very unlikely that he'll sustain his drive for custody, especially if it doesn't quickly get the results he's looking for (i.e., you caving in and moving back). And you might want to post this in Parents as Partners for the privacy. Good luck and hang in there
I had to pay. Far less than I did when I was part of a two-income family, but still about $450. I don't qualify for any credits but making use of my company-sponsored FSAs for childcare and healthcare helped.
I hope you can find your way to a more peaceful life.
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