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Posts by lifetapestry

If you've already nightweaned, then what you're doing (saying the nurses are asleep) will eventually work, as long as you stick to that line. The only thing I have to add above the excellent advice you've received so far is that no definition of gentle discipline requires you to stay in bed with a toddler that is trying to hurt you repeatedly. That is simply not acceptable, and it would be fine to get out of bed and say that. Let her father attempt to comfort her. It...
As I read your post, I see three things going on that might be helpful to sort out. I can certainly understand why you'd be feeling so bad and you definately need something to change: 1. Your husband is engaging in "triangulated communication" by repeating things that your MIL has said to him. Mine used to do this to, until I told him to stop. I have no idea if she says things to him anymore or not, but it doesn't affect me because I don't know about it. The...
Quote: Originally Posted by Yin Yang If you were in the OP's situation you would have THE EXACT SAME THOUGHTS in your head as she did!! You could not help it! It's only natural to think that if you have never left your baby with anyone else. You are not making any sense whatsoever. The reason why some of us posted is because we do NOT agree that "it's only natural". I would not have been irritated by a new mother being out without her baby ...
My perspective is similar to Ruth's: I don't think you can ask a daycare provider to "stand in" for you as a parent, to do what you would do, because they aren't you and they can't be, regardless of how much you want them to follow xyz guidelines or philosophies and how much they are determined to. I think that you choose a daycare provider based on what they are already doing (assuming that they are also a parent or already are providing care for children) and are...
I think that many babies freak out at certain things, because their emotional systems are so labile and reactive. That said, the "freaking out" could be, as a PP said, related to sensory issues that are outside the norm even for young babies. My 3 1/2 year old has some mild to moderate sensory issues-- when I look back (hindsight, as they say, is 20/20) I see the early signs. He was partially evaluated as a 2 year old but the OT was a loser and never completed the...
Quote: Originally Posted by annettemarie Newborn baby. Not five or six years old. Two weeks old. So what's your point? Or do you just like to repeat things? A 2 week old's needs are a lot more limited than a 5 or 6 year old's-- they need to be fed, burped, changed, held, eased into sleep. All of these things can be done by someone who is not the mother. Karla
I think it's dangerous to socialize mothers into believing that you can't ever leave your kids until they are 5 or 6 or whatever age posters in this thread find acceptable. All mothers are different in what makes them good mothers, and for some, that includes time away from their children. I personally think it's preferable for mothers to feel that they can take time off from mothering rather than starting losing it with their kids or sliding down into post partum...
I also think that it tends to be a boy thing and a phase, but I found 3 things made this period rather short lived-- 1. prevention -- put cabinet locks or move items that you don't want him using in his destructive phases -- to this day, crayons and such are not kept within his reach (colored chalk on the easel is available to him). Of course, he never went after a lamp so this method is not fool proof 2. give him permission to destruct something -- honor the...
Quote: Originally Posted by ZeldasMom If she was I have a problem with this approach from a safety perspective. If your child is hurting someone else (especially a younger, smaller child) you need to stop the behavior from continuing. This woman let her daughter run over and throw my son down 3 times. If another child is aggresive towards my child, I believe that is is my responsibility to protect my child. I don't let other children...
I don't see any "demeaning" going on -- I said I disagree, and I explained why. Just because I'm critical of your position doesn't mean that I "demeaned" you. I didn't call you names or say that your position was ridiculous, so I just don't get it. I also didn't say that I was personally attacked. I was simply annoyed at the turn this thread took, with a bunch of posts at the end with all the "bad stuff" in children's art projects. I felt that there was some balance...
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