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Posts by ZoeyZoo

  I went through something similar right before my divorce. It was so stressful being in a state on limbo.   First thought reading your post is that seems to be a lot of guy's opinions going into counseling. It's a make or break session. Realistically the first session is more about setting goals, your backgrounds, etc. You probably will do very little work the first sessions. It's typically more of a getting to know each other type of session.   Second...
I may be a bit old fashioned here but I am a big believer of making the guy take the lead at the beginning of the relationship. It will tell you a ton about his intentions towards you and give you clues into his personality.
My two cents is that the first few years are hard on a marriage so I would try to hang in there a little longer. Is he willing to try counseling? You didn't mention any huge red flags like abuse. If it's more communication types of issues I would give it a good shot for my child. But on the other hand if the other person doesn't want to do anything to make the situation better it never will happen. Those types of things have to come internally; not externally.
I totally agree with Miss Lotus too. In many states the debt and income divides when you separate so any debt, skipping work, etc. will not be your problem. Since this man has no interest in his family right now I would work on how to protect your self. That will include things like opening bank accounts in your name only, making an exit plan, getting legal advice. I would also collect any evidence you have regarding the affair, drinking, drugs, etc.Even in a no fault...
My lawyer told me if we went to trial she was going to ask for something (can't remember the official term) that was a statement of what he was going to say in court so we could defend ourselves.
DD is 3 and XH and I both have 50/50 custody. Originally dd had been trading off between us everyday so she saw us both everyday. We felt the switching of beds, routine, etc. was better for her than not seeing the other parent frequently.   A few months ago we started changing the schedule to EOW when before we were splitting the weekend. Initially she was fine but the last few weeks DD has been very clingy with the parent she is leaving on the weekend exchanges (all...
No advice but what you're going through sounds really hard. I think that is probably one of my worst nightmares actually.
Shanny - I have a 3 yo and I have only introduced him to one guy but I kept him as a friend, we have no affection in front of dd, and I also have many other male and female friends around. I am honestly a bit torn about this issue. I feel like I need to know the guy and dd would get along and that the guy has seem some parenting reality and can handle this. For this reason I feel an introduction should be somewhat early before I form too much of an attachment. The other...
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Honestly I would check with a lawyer. Many do free consultations. These things can very between states and cities.   I know in my case XH ran a home based business and watched dd while I WOH. I was told it could have hurt me with custody because it made him look like the custodial parent even though we spend about the same amount of time with dd. Every lawyer I talked with said put her in daycare. They also said that leaving my dd with anyone that I didn't feel was...
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