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Posts by ZoeyZoo

I've been through so much of what you have written (and I have posted it in the past). I had no support in place though. Now today I have such a different outlook on things. Please know know me have commented how different I am now (in a good way). I second the books the PP mentioned and the SA forum.
Martha - I guess it depends on your view as some people don't want to meet predators who look for women with kids. I would just list it in your profile under the stats (OKC has the "has kids" one). If you want to put anything in there just keep it short. Something simple like I'm a mom and a student. If you want to elaborate at all you can do that during the messaging. In my experience most will ask something like how old or boy/girl.   For the message my personal...
The attorney consultation was exactly what I was going to suggest because the courts are all so different. Contact them and get to know your basic rights and what you should be doing now. I know in my situation whoever had more parenting time could have come into play.
I felt the same way at one point as sren. My ex and I kept agreeing and then he would ask for something new and we would go back to square one.
In the case of abuse I don't think it's so much freedom as you had in your single pre-children days. But there is definitely a freedom of not having to deal with whatever tactic your ex used to control and manipulate you to get his way on a regular basic. In the short term though it feels like a lot of work to sort through belonging, move, etc. as you get reestablished.   I also recommend the book Why Does He Do That for your situation.
I'm not familiar with Texas but one of my first questions is he named on the birth certificate? If not he will likely have to go to court and prove paternity before he could apply for custody/visitation. I would also keep records to things like who does the parenting (i.e., me 70%, him 30%) because in some states that would have some weight on the custodial parent and the time split.   Many judges won't see giving an infant huge amounts of time to the father but if...
I have a date with Funny Guy again later this evening. I love how he's always trying to fix everything for me and make my life much easier.   Last weekend some stuff in my kitchen broke right before I saw him and he instantly played Mr. Fix It Man without me even mentioning it. He just went to my toolbox, got what he needed, and fixed it. He also saw my trash can was full and took out the trash for me without asking. I can't count how many times I wake up in the...
I'm also in the run camp... not just for the grumpiness but for the victim, blaming, and deflection. BTDT. Victims never think anything is their fault and will always turn the conversation back to your faults. I also don't like how you describe things with his ex and child which I believe foreshadows what things will look like with you down the line.
Have you tried talking to the women in the surviving abuse forum? That might be a good place to start working through your feelings and situation. So much of it is textbook so there will be others there who can at least give you some cyber support and have been in your situation.
I'm going to provide another perspective here because I am the one paying CS in my divorce. I pay 40% of my income to my ex as that is around the guideline (and max) for my state.   Honestly at the beginning of the split I offered to let XH continue to pull a certain dollar amount for things like food even though I have no legal obligation to (he was staying with a relative when we separated) until he abused it and withdrew twice that amount. I moved all the money...
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