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Posts by hillymum

I booted ex out on the evening of 3rd July 2009 and filed for divorce the following week. The divorce was finalized on April 10th 2012 I think. Ex was a real ass, we were in and out of court frequently, and he would miss court dates, even called the Judge one day to cancel the appearance! He missed about 3 mediation dates, and his 4th attorney has requested to be released from representing him. It was a total nightmare! We are still in court as he still ignores court...
Oh how I would like to slap the next person who says they are basically a single parent. No you damn well arent! You don't have to defend your child against your ex partner, scrape buy on nothing, or fight to get what you and your child/ren are entitled to!   On the heals of that, comments like "It must be so nice to get every other weekend off" just about killed me when I first separated, and for the next three years! No, it isn't nice knowing they are not being cared...
Honestly? I do nothing but parent my kids, don't have a (paying)  job, don't go to school etc, and I am on anti anxiety/stress/depression meds.  I do have clinical depression, and if I go three or more days without my meds I am a totally different person in a very bad way. It sounds like you are not the same as I am, but something to help reduce your stress would help as you are not able or willing to decrease the number of obligations you have, which would be my first...
I moved from the marital home (3800sq ft and finished basement) to a 1600sq ft, 3 bedroom  with partially finished basement home about a year ago. I gave away so many unused toys, clothes, furniture etc.  It felt amazing to do such a huge declutter. As I was the only one packing for the move I was able to decide what went with us and what just plain went.
WOw, he sounds like a real winner! Have you been advised that sticking to email and recording all conversations is a good idea? Saying his house is too unclean for his daughters to be there is a really dumb thing to say on his part,! Also, send him an email whenever he misses his time with the kids, and tell him they were upset especially as it was a last minute cancelation. Evidence like that builds up to paint a true picture of his pattern of behaviour.
For parents who can afford to have three houses I sure it works. I dont trust my ex so couldnt share anything with him. Who pays when the tv is broken,who pays the electrical bils when one parent leaves all the lights on? I'm sorry,the fantasy sounds really good, but realisticaly, if you can work around sharing a house like that why get a divorce?
Reading this thread brings back memories! Ex had the bright idea that the kids would stay in one house and he and I would alternate staying in the kids home! Craziest idea I had ever heard. I agree it is best to try and find out what routine works best for all of you and try to keep that part out of court.
I don't know about who would be responsible for travel, but I don't see how he is going to manage daily visits living that far away. My ex is about 30 minutes away and any mid week visits were a huge pain, so we ended up extending his weekend hours and dropping the mid week visit. He now sees the kids every other weekend, and has three weeks over the summer (broken into 2 weeks and 1 week).
Honestly it doesn't sound like you will be able to get sole legal and physical, so go for the minimum which for me was eow and one evening every other week. Due to holidays etc this makes it a 80/20 split. You will also find that you like the routine of knowing when he should have the kids so you can make plans.  As to the over nights, he is going to have to learn how to parent, it is only fair to the children that they get to spend time with him.
I would have thought you having a written letter in each childs records saying you do not want these procedures/vaccination would be enough to prevent it.
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