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Posts by Tigerchild

Mental illness is not a choice.  However, I have had to make many choices in my life dealing with the behavior and fallout from somebody else's mental illness.  I understand that it is not the person's "fault" or even within their control;  however, I can only devote a certain amount of time and energy to them at this stage in my life, and given that I pretty much had my childhood taken away because of it, I'm reluctant to devote a whole lot of time and energy to anyone...
You had your safe way of dealing with things and making the situation stable.  Now that has changed and is unstable (in the sense that there have been a great many changes and you can't predict how this will go).  That is disorienting and frightening and it's understandable if you're also pissed off about it.  A break that was so severe that it pulled your SBC relatives out of their anti-treatment mentality (my extended family is divided between SBC and AoG so I know...
  Choosing to limit the alone time or caregiving time with your children is not "avoidance".  I too grew up with a mother who had some significant mental illness events.  I was her caregiver, more or less, from the time I was 6 until I left the house at 17.  Other people cannot address a person's mental illness if they refuse (for a variety of reasons, not all of them bad) to get treatment.  If someone is actively doing destructive things then it is sensible and NOT...
Have you checked in to groups that offer support to kids/families of people who are incarcerated?  If you call the facility your sister is at, they may have a list in your area.  I was a corrections officer at a women's facility for awhile, and there were several organizations that we tried to plug both the families AND the residents into.  
You could always not start out the race with them, and tuck them away, and pull them out after you start.  Apparently that is what a lot of people do, esp. the people who are not in the elite category.  I noticed at the Danskin tri (I registered last week!) they assess a time penalty if you are caught using headphones during the run and they are banned for swimming/biking (this makes sense to me--that would be pretty dangerous for those two legs!).   
Vermontgirl, I don't even think you need to find a video per se--if you do a search online there are tons of really good exercises for core strengthening!  Just keep in mind that it takes time, and it still won't "spot reduce", it will just tone/strengthen the muscles under the skin/fat layer and will help you with your posture, which does wonders (IME) for belly pooch.  I think though that unless you're going to do weights and/or other training, your body shape will...
I don't know that you'd get kicked out of the race per se (like bodily removed mid course) but if you break the rules it means that you are disqualified for any awards if caught.  One of the races I was looking at said that violating any of the rules (they also have a rule about no headphones) means that you are disqualified.  I've seen people running marathons and 5/10k with headphones at every single event;  I think as long as you don't care about the competition...
  That is a possibility.  Probably a small one, but that is a real potential.  I think that is one of the things that can really suck in parenting in general (and especially when there are traumatized children involved)--really, you do not know when it's been "enough".  It is hard to watch.  Harder to think about and worry over.  But even non-traumatized kids often seem to take 1 step forward 10 steps back sometimes if they're in a difficult stage.  You just have to keep...
I was going to say it took me 20 lbs before I noticed size change, but I have a goal of losing almost 100 (down 85 so far).   I really started noticing major changes with the abdomen and leg areas in particular when I started lifting weights and doing TRX.  Up until that point, my belly just sort of deflated, if that makes sense--so it was less poofed out but still in the way.  I still have lots of loose skin, but have lost inches at a faster rate than pounds.  I...
I'm sure you "know" this intellectually, but I also know how hard it is to fight the instinct/wish...   Please keep in mind that you cannot ever "fix" what happened up until this point.  You can give him a new foundation to move forward, in time you will help him process, you will build new memories and experiences together...but you're not going to change the past, and you're not going to be able to fix what happened to him.  It really sucks.  It's easy to feel...
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