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Posts by Yooper

Quote: Originally Posted by Drummer's Wife I really do hope your gifts of donations go over well, I do. You might be pleasantly surprised, and possibly even start a new trend for next year -- but essentially, as it is now, your family - the one who feels strongly against an excess of stuff -- now has mounds of gifts sent from family members. I'm just not so sure in the long run it will play out so that they understand that you would rather not have...
Quote: Originally Posted by Krisis Yikes. I'm all for donations to charities and such, but as a gift? Not my thing. In fact, I'd be pretty bummed. Not because I want ...gasp....shudder....THINGS, but because I would much rather have the money that went to the donation to spend on things like ... groceries, gas, bills, etc. But maybe I'm the only one who uses birthday/Christmas money to pay down debt or buy food/supplies. No one on our gift...
We thought about discussing it with everyone first....but it was actually pretty fun to do the detective work to figure out what orgs people support. Kind of like finding that one wine or chocolate someone likes. If we spilled it, I think it would be less special. Maybe not. Hard to say. I am feeling better about it. Maybe because it is getting too late to do anything about it anyway, so I might as well make peace with it and hope for the best. Thanks to everyone...
Quote: Originally Posted by EFmom They didn't make the donation, so they cannot take it off their taxes. That was not the impression I got when I spoke to the different charities we donated to. Habitat, for instance, asked me who the tax form should be sent to. Perhaps I misunderstood? But either way, people cannot normally write-off any Christmas gift they get anyway. So who cares? Do people really donate for the write-off? Perhaps...
Quote: Originally Posted by GearGirl You said that you don't *know* that your gift will upset anyone, but you also said that your MIL said donations were disappointing. I think that means she will be upset by it. I'm just using the information you provided to come to that conclusion. Yeah. Unfortunately, we did not get that tidbit of info until AFTER we sent the gifts And I am still not entirely sure how she will react. This particular...
Quote: Originally Posted by Right of Passage I think kids need something tangible but as an adult, and even as a passionate teen I would have been delighted to find that someone made a donation for me to animal rights, ICAN, LLL, etc. I think you did an honorable thing! The older people get the harder they seem to buy for, IMO the gift you're giving is good for the charity and the person. I think if you family struggles with it, next year you could...
Quote: Originally Posted by EFmom I don't see donations in someone else's name as a gift, period, unless it is something the recipient has requested. The "giver" donates to a cause and can take it off their taxes. The recipient gets nothing. That said, it's a done deal, so I'd try to move on. I did request that the tax receipts be sent to the receivers.
Quote: Originally Posted by anj_rn I think it is a great gift. I would have put it in envelopes rather than boxed though. Well, they are teeny tiny boxes and it will be pretty clear after the first one is opened that they are all the same. It should not be a total shock. It did not occur to me that this could be a bad thing. Something to keep in mind for next year......
Quote: Originally Posted by enfpintj I don't want to make you feel even more nervous, but i will tell you what happened when we did it and what the response was. We started doing homemade gifts that no one appreciated. Then we tried the donations with the personal slant. No one appreciated them either. My ILs like gifts for various reasons, some childhood related ,some just personality related. Only one or two were interested in not exchanging among...
Quote: Originally Posted by GearGirl It is sort of summed up for me in what a previous poster said about doing what is best for your family. You are doing what is best for your family, but not them. This is how we got into this mess to begin with. What they *want* are not things we are willing to buy. They want things that we are ethically opposed to buying and/or supporting. We are, perhaps, considerably more "extreme" than most, even by...
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