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Posts by Evan&Anna's_Mom

Posted by Piglet: I guess if I could sum it all up it is this: I trust that my children want to behave well, be respectful, not cause another person pain, take pride in their work, be part of a harmonious family, have friends, and be a productive member of society one day. Thus, if any of these things are not happening I assume there is a problem and that the only thing standing in the way is they don't know how to identify and/or solve the problem (or they may not be...
 Please, please tell me that this means you don't ignore the taunts, name-calling or ostracism when it occurs in your classroom (if you are a teacher or similar)?  While I acknowledge that teachers (or other youth workers) can't be everywhere and can't be expected to control things that occur off campus, I have been appalled by the number of teachers who don't even try to intervene when it happens in their classroom and the administrators who shrug off what happens at the...
I use a similar approach but its more of a day to day thing.  The rule in our house is "no electronics until homework is finished" (excepting the computer when needed to do homework, which is getting more and more frequent for both by 10 YO and 14 YO).  If that rule is broken, then there is no electronics for the next 24 hours and/or until all the work is caught up.  Even for teachers who don't take late work I require the assignment completed before they are allowed...
 Thank you for pointing out that "fat" and "unhealthy" are not the same thing.  I am fat, I readily admit it.  But all of the markers people use to judge health (blood pressure, cholesterol etc) are pretty good.  Every time I see my doctor (regularly due to asthma) I get a lecture.  And every time I point out that yes, I should loose weight.  But seeing as it isn't impacting my health over much (at the moment -- I know this will probably change eventually), it really isn't...
OMG -- I can't imagine how angry that would make me!  Seems like the only realistic answer is never to allow the grandfather to be with any of your children unsupervised.  And if DS1 never wants to see him again, I'd be OK with making that happen.
Seems like maybe the answer is the mom?  If she is there to help him (which it sounds like), shouldn't SHE learn the music and be more proactive in getting him in tune (so to speak) with the rest of the band?  Otherwise, I agree that it's not fair to have him competing, but it's also not clear to me that he will be.
  Sorry about age mix-up  -- read too fast I guess.   If I thought the *teachers* at a preschool were using "f*ck" around children, I would certainly decide that this wasn't the right place for my children.  But you are right, you can't control for what other children are saying.  I would expect a preschool to correct a child using that sort of language in the classroom, but playground talk can't be controlled by teachers so it still gets used.   Sounds like you are doing...
  Oh dear -- I really didn't mean to make this sound like I was blaming the OP!  Just suggesting a place to start.  Though I really hope that a 4 year old isn't learning f*ck in preschool.  If I suspected that I would definitely remove my child from that school.  And behavior issues, with or without ADHD's influence, is definitely not just the parent's fault -- sometimes parent's behavior might make the issue worse, but I think there are almost always a range of things...
So, if I understand this, your child is 4?  And she has words like f*ck in her vocabulary???  Where did she pick up such words?  I think its really important for parents to model the behavior they want from their children.  So if you or your DH use foul language, step 1 would be for you to change.  And if you or your DH are disrespectful to each other or to the kids, that behavior needs to change first.  Then you can start requiring your child to behave more...
  I'm not sure I would assume that now, let alone what might be true in the future.  I mean, yes you have a land line now.  Who knows if there will even BE landlines 10 years from now.  And I know that most public places in our area will absolutely not allow a child/youth to use their phone.  My children's schools will not allow the student to call their parents -- the staff person calls for them.  But there are times when I would much rather speak directly with my...
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