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Posts by Alpenglow

I think it's important for every woman to have access to emergency funds in her own name. If there is a way to do so openly then great. If not, then as long as it is disclosed during the divorce it can't be used against you. Just know that whatever you save will be split. But it's important to have access to cash for legal retainer fees, moving costs, etc.
Is it even a remote possibility for dh to look for work closer to your family?  Moving after divorce with children is so hard, legally and otherwise.  
I think in most cases (with some exceptions), people are coming from a place of just trying to make a connection with others, and comments such as "My your hands are full" are sometimes just a way of validating the challenges of parent and saying, "Hey, I see you are a mama and I recognize the hard work you do".  So much of what we do goes unnoticed, and sometimes people (like myself) just want to acknowledge that (and occasionally it comes out in shy, awkward ways!).  Or...
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Yeah it all depends on the context and intent behind the comments.  Some people (myself included) can be plain awkward and say things that I later realize might have been misinterpreted, then feel badly worrying if I offended someone!  But some people are truly passive aggressive (or have an underlying personality disorder).
I think this is such an insightful comment.   I suspect unconscious envy is at the root of comments like that, that end with a provocative "it won't last"....as though to diminish your parenting skills and imply it is luck (maybe to ease their own insecurities and need to compare?).   Isn't it wonderful when we can do things with our little ones and it actually be an enjoyable experience? :-)
I've met most of my mom contacts walking around the neighbourhood, at playgroups, parent participation activity classes, and at parks and public recreation complexes.  Just getting out there regularly increases the chances of that serendipitous conversation that leads to something more.  And if no one is met, well at least I got some fresh air. 
No real advice, just commiseration here.  Having children sure does change things.  I am sad for our children to not have the same experiences I had growing up (big family get togethers very regularly, lots of cousins to play with, a community of family supporters, etc).  And it was always with a heavy heart that I stepped onto that airplane to return 'home' after our visits back east.     I guess if I did have advice, it would be to push for dh to relocate to be closer...
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I'm kind of in the same boat - access to emergency money but they don't really have much.  It's comforting somewhat and I am grateful I have that.   If you know you do better with a cash/envelope system then go for it!  There's a TV show called 'Till Debt Do Us Part' (a reality show about couples that get in over their heads in debt and this hilarious, bossy SuperNanny-type woman who is a financial planner comes in and does this financing boot camp with them.  I actually...
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