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Posts by Alpenglow

Most abusive men will file for 50/50 custody. And will do all they can to make your life as financially challenging as possible. Some even use ongoing litigation as a way to control you and the kids...and sometimes to purposefully drain your finances. You could be looking at much more than just weekends away. If you can somehow get access to your savings in his account I would do so. What would happen if you told him that you would like to make his account joint, or...
Annecca I am so sorry for what you have been through. He is abusive, entitled and I'm sorry your family has been less than understanding of the complexities of leaving an abuser. I am so glad to hear you are documenting everything. The abuse (drugs, emotional abuse) will probably worsen since it would appear he has no insight...and there could be very real danger in leaving him. The online mosaic risk tool is useful to asses risk. If you haven't done so already please...
Read all you can on the topic of divorce.  Do you have a local mental health and addictions counselling centre, or al-anon (or equivalent for drug abuse) who could support you through the process of dealing with someone with addiction?  Does he smoke in the home?     Try very hard to get some other supports lined up who would be prepared to swear affadavits to say they have seen him impaired by MJ, and other evidence (so you have enough credible evidence to justify an...
I'd never agree to acting as the visitation supervisor, but I would probably want to be able to observe the interactions he has in a supervised visitation setting.     MJ is not a totally harmless substance.  It can induce psychosis, in which case he could become very dangerous...especially with the unpredictable emotions of separation.  He just might be so severely narcissistic that he can't begin to imagine you would actually leave someone so 'special' as him.  In...
I sent you a pm, mama.  (can't post too much here)
That sounds so frustrating! My counsellor told me its common for controlling (abusive) men to keep forcing things to court in order to drain your finances. Is your lawyer explaining things well? Really working for YOU? If not is it an option to consult another? I sure hope the judge also orders him to pay 100% of your legal fees.
Good to hear. Something to consider in your agreement for when they are older. Hope things continue to go smoothly!
Yes - I would try to find quality childcare so that you don't feel dependent on him for childcare.  You want him to be a parent, not a babysitter.  And think of yourself too - do you want to be a full time teacher/homeschooler and spend your weekends working, while x gets to play and do all the fun weekend stuff?  If you have a right of first refusal and share weekend custody, then he could still possibly have the kids on the weekends if he likes while you work (but I...
I probably wouldn't make a big deal of it.  I'd read and show it to dd and then let it go.  I'd thank x. Nothing more.   However, next time he asks what she would like, I'd probably just pick the most expensive thing you know she would like (that you can't afford otherwise, but want dd to have) and tell him that!  And suggest he get her a card with cats on it (or whatever interests her).  And keep all emails where he asks for ideas (because then it can be used to...
I don't know what a social study is.  Is that like a custody evaluation?   Rosebud, it sounds like your x and his allies could be engaging in a parental alienation campaign (consciously or unconsciously). Were the children previously very open and agreeable with you?   I would start reading up on how to counter the effects of this.  Some titles that come to mind are "Toxic Divorce" and "Divorce Poison".  "Hold onto Your Kids" (and other titles that address...
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