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Posts by Alpenglow

I also posted in other forum about going for sole custody with a right of first refusal clause (for both of you). He needs to be able to communicate well and have respectful discussions to make shared custody work for the kids; otherwise it seems the research supports a primary residence for at least the first 3 years of a child's life, longer depending on the kids. He might go for an agreement that is reviewable after a certain amount if time. This would also give...
It's important to enter negotiations asking for more than what you would be willing to accept. Then you have room to negotiate and let him feel like he is winning.I would doubt your stbx would be thinking about fair as much as he may lead you to believe (based on another thread). Don't sell yourself short or think that be you being fair, he will too. Research spousal support - you have been staying home with kids and have not been able to contribute to your own...
Thanks everyone. I also found out that there are only 2 parking spots in the garage and it is kept locked all the time. Dd2 can't unbuckle herself, but apparently she was crying when x brought her up into the apartment. So who know how long she had been there.
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Agree that moving quickly is best, before he changes his mind and makes things difficult.
I thought of you springshowers when I watched this video.....there's a section where he talks about "parentification" (around the 12 min mark), and it made me think of your x.  http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=08QsVpSQtgw
One functional issue I have is that x has inputted dates prior to mutual agreement, and so I go in and see them and then sometimes need a little discussion by email. For some this might work (calendar first, discussion 2nd) but I personally prefer the agreement first. When both have editing rights it can get messy (I was accused of messing with a bunch if his dates). It's not a permanent record. So I do like the idea of separating the editing and viewing rights. In my...
It's shared (his idea). One account just to schedule his visits, times etc. seems to work. Good points about security. What would I need to be concerned about? (I may be naive...)
If you share a google (gmail) calendar, be sure to log out as soon as you are done viewing and editing the calendar.  Otherwise all of your google internet search histories will be logged in the google account (I discovered this by accident and found a questionable search by x at the same time..).  If you are concerned about entries being deleted on you, then you can print off the schedule to have a hard copy...take photos of screen shots, etc.  But it's probably better...
I totally agree with this advice.  You can ease him into it by making the first few times a "hey I just happened to be going through here and let's do the exchange here..."....so it's not presented as a "get out of my space" request.  Then he gets used to the idea and you get his agreement without him ever knowing the intent behind it.     If there are safety concerns then you need to be gathering evidence and getting legal advice asap from a lawyer who understands abuse...
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