First...love N or Boston, S. of Sanity. I think I might use that with us living N. of Tucson!
I totally know where you are coming from. I have LOTS of troubles with all this but am working and here's what is working for me.
* What works for others might not work for you. Don't try to conform to other's systems/rules because, honestly, I feel it just makes more havoc.
* DO THE DISHES AFTER EVERY MEAL. No dishes in the sink. (Seriously. This took me...