First of all, I agree that we should call them something besides Blessingways if it is offensive to the Dine.
In my circle we call them Mother Blessing Ceremonies. I wouldn't call it a baby shower because thats not what it is. We really focus on the mama becoming a mother, not so much on the baby.
Here's some elements to what we like to do:
Have everyone bring a bead for the birthing bracelet/necklace
Everyone shares a meaningful thought, idea, story, poem, blessing,...