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Posts by guestmama 9918

I hear you loud and clear about the extracurriculars. I think one of my first posts on this forum was on that very topic. In our case DH's ex signs DSS up for anything and everything-piano, guitar, soccer, movie making, football, basketball....Usually he goest to one-two classes and quits or doesn't make it to more than 1/2 the games. DH is not against his son playing sports or whatever. He is against teaching him by example that it's OK not to follow through with...
Sometimes I feel like DH gives away too much power in his dealings with his ex, because he is afraid of having to go back to court. I don't relish the idea of spending the money to go back to court if it would come to that, but I also agree with you that sometimes you need to speak up. Even if it means the other person is going to react badly.
I agree with Protolawyer, if it's for his I-9, there are multiple options for ID. The passport is the easiest because it proves both citizenship and is a photo ID in one document. If your son lives with you most of the time, I don't see why his dad would maintain any documentation. Sounds like control issues on his part, but what a pain for you! Sorry you're having to deal with this. I can't imagine a corporation or even small business agreeing to deal with shipping...
Wow--I can't believe that you and DSD's mom get along well enough to sit and have a few beers together!! That would never happen in my situation. DSS's mom maintains the position that anywhere I am, she will leave. I know my case is at the extreme end of the spectrum, but from the comments you described, your DSD's mom may have more animosity toward you than you maybe realized. That's unfortunate. The half brother thing does seem kind of petty. My only advice would...
Congratulations to you & your new DH.
Sounds like you have a good relationship, so you should be a good sounding board for her. I agree that she should be encouraged to think through all of her options, not just in this moment, but in terms of how she wants to remember her wedding. I know a couple who got married in their early 20's. Because the groom's family was not contributing financially to the wedding, they were not listed on the wedding invitation, only the bride's parents were. At the time the groom...
My DSS and DD are very close in age. My DH has WAY higher expectations of my DD than DSS. I have had to raise this issue with DH on more than one occasion. It is hard to deal with, because there is a certain protective instinct that kicks in. No matter how much you care for your SK, You don't want to feel like your child is being picked on or treated unfairly. I am a huge advocate for counseling. Usualy an unbiased third party can show both you and your partner the...
My DSS is going into junior high. He has always been pretty spotty as a student, he's smart, but not particularly motivated because he finds school boring. Every year there are the calls from the teachers about not having homework done. He was taking medication for ADD, but it did not seem to impact his academic performance. He has never been a behavior problem in class, just negligent about keeping up with assignments and always quick to have an excuse. This past year he...
I agree with the other posters that legally it would not reflect well on you to ignore the visitation schedule until it is officially modified. My DD is 13 and I'm sure there are a lot of days when she wishes she didn't have to be here, but I'm her mom. Even if/when you do modify your existing order, I doubt that the court would support discontinuing all visits with her father.
The only real rules we have in the house are no physical fighting (hitting, biting, etc) and no lying. The lying thing is more a statement about it's better to tell the truth the first time than to lie and get found out. For me the hardest part about blending is not that DH and I cannot see eye-to-eye in terms of household values and behavior expectations. It's that DH has a harder time enforcing those behavioral expectations on DSS, who is on a visitation schedule,...
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