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3.5 yr old bit her 3 month old sister!  

post #1 of 10
11/16/08 at 11:57pm
Thread Starter 
OMG What goes through a child's mind that they would do something like this? Tonight while I was clearning up the kitchen and the 3 month old was in her swing (in another room) my 3 yr old bit her on her foot..so hard it left bite marks. Needless to say she screamed in pain an I went running in there to find my 3 yr old laying face first in the couch (like if she couldn't see me I couldn't see her) and acting as guilty as ever! I was so angry I couldn't see straight!!! I asked her why she did it and all she would say was "cuz". One other time when my little one was less than a month old my 3 yr old wacked her on the forehead with one of her toys! How do I deal with this? How do I punish her for what she is doing and how can I make sure she stops????
post #2 of 10
11/17/08 at 1:08am
When something like that happens, it is so hard not to feel incredibly angry at the child.

I don't think punishment is the answer. I would supervise at all times. Do not leave her alone with the 3-month-old baby. Just bring her or the baby with you. Say "We touch babies with gentle hands and mouths. We kiss like this" and show her.

Good luck.
post #3 of 10
11/17/08 at 11:41am
I just posted on your other thread. We had DS when DD was 3.5 and went through the same thing. For months, we couldn't leave DD alone in the room with DS. She would hit etc. and generally be mean to him.

It's my understanding that it's completely normal behavior. And it eventually went away. We tried many things but there was no magic bullet that stopped it. It seemed to be just a really long adjustment period for DD.

Now DS is 22 mos. and they play together, sit and cuddle for a TV show and seem to actually like each other! (For awhile I wasn't sure it would ever happen!)

Hang in there!
post #4 of 10
11/17/08 at 1:03pm
ds is almost 3 and seems literally incapable of not hurting his baby sister (or the new kitten)--he's playing sweetly with her, or stroking her gently, and it suddenly turns into a really rough gouge or push or pinch. It makes me so mad, and he knows it's wrong. He just can't seem to help himself--I don't get it.

Ugh. Hoping this stops soon.
post #5 of 10
11/18/08 at 12:29am
Quote:
Originally Posted by rebeccajo View Post
I don't think punishment is the answer. I would supervise at all times. Do not leave her alone with the 3-month-old baby. Just bring her or the baby with you. Say "We touch babies with gentle hands and mouths. We kiss like this" and show her.

Good luck.
:
post #6 of 10
11/18/08 at 1:10am
Not that it will make you feel much better, but ds's best friend stabbed his infant brother with a fork when he was 3. Didn't puncture the flesh, but it was quite a scene: screaming baby, unrepentant 3yo brandishing the fork...six years later it's part of the family lore.
post #7 of 10
11/18/08 at 1:52am
My friend did the same thing to her brother when he was a baby. Toddler sure gets a big reaction out of it--from the baby, mom, etc. She said her mom took them both to one of her brothers well-baby visits. The dr looked at the bite marks on the baby's head, looked at the toddler, and said, "Yeah, that seems about right." LOL!

Your daughter is not a bad person--she's just three.
post #8 of 10
11/18/08 at 2:26am
I agree, don't leave a toddler alone with an infant -it is the rule in our house. This age group doesn't have self control and usually can not express a reason for their actions.
post #9 of 10
11/18/08 at 12:55pm
My 3.5yr old bit his 7mo old brother just this last week on his calf. it left marks and I was angry but controlled myself and had a talk about how biting hurts. I guess it's also testing limits ot see what they can do to their siblings.
post #10 of 10
11/19/08 at 12:33am
Thread Starter 
Rough lesson for sure, but obviously from then on baby has been with me and not unsupervised w/ her big sis. On this particular day the 3 yr was in one room with her dad and she pretty much left that room and went directly to her sister and then bit her...because I was listening to her wearabouts...obviously not a good plan with the baby in the swing (but now I know) and honestly it was a matter of a minute or two from when she left the room.

I can't wait until I can wear the baby on my back with my ergo...then she for sure won't be leaving my side! It is just too hard in the front carrying position to do so many tasks.

chalking this one up to lessoned learned!
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