Need some advice for my sister

[urchin_grey]

I don't really have any ideas for her because I pretty much EP'd.

Her DS is 15mo. The problem is that he's still waking up 10+ times a night to nurse. Is that typical? She's not trying to night-wean completely, she just needs some sleep. I can tell just by talking to her that she's exhausted. No amount of consoling him will put him back to sleep though without offering the boob because if he doesn't get it right away he FREAKS out. He's weighs almost 30 pounds though so the kid isn't exactly starving. BTW, they co-sleep but putting him in his own bed isn't an option either. Oh, and he won't, and has never taken a pacifier. He just chews them.

Anyone have any ideas? She does NOT want to wean, she wants to make it to at LEAST two years, but probably aiming for CLW. Weaning would probably be suicidal anyway, the kid is super addicted to the boobie, as you can see.

ETA: Oh, and I forgot to mention that my sister has seizure episodes and is currently on Dilantin so she REALLY needs her sleep.

[hollytheteacher]

Don't have any advice, but i'm in the same boat. My ds was an amazing sttn kid until his first birthday and now he is almost 15 months and has been waking 9 plus times to nurse at night. I try to rub his back or offer other forms of comfort, but he's not having any of it, he also screams and freaks out immediately.

PLEASE SOMEONE WHO HAS BEEN THERE DONE THAT...:ex claim

[Mommal]

10 times a night!!!? My kid was nursing 5-6 times a night and I thought no one in the world had it worse than me. I don't think there's any reason your sis needs to wean completely, but I see nothing wrong with nightweaning. Here are some things your sis can try that may help:
1. Move the milk. Mom sleeps on the couch for a few weeks, and Dad takes over the nighttime parenting.
2. Restrict access to the milk. If she still wants/needs to co-sleep, she should wear a pajama top or a bra to bed. Sometimes if a baby can't easily get his hands on mom's goodies, he may decide to go back to sleep without nursing.
3. Offer an alternative. Sometimes a baby really is thirsty at night, so a sippy cup or bottle of water may be a necessary alternative.
4. Once you've made the decision to nightwean, stick to it. Don't give in one night and not the next- it just confuses the baby and prolongs the process, as the baby learns that if he just fusses long and loud enough he may just get what he wants.
4. Expect some battles. A dedicated night-nurser will not give in without a fight.
5. Don't feel like you must give in because the baby is crying. So long as some form of comfort is being given- back rub, gentle talk, song, cuddles, etc.- it's not the same as crying-it-out alone in the dark. Baby may not be getting his preferred form of comfort, but he is getting loving parenting.
6. Resign yourself to getting even less sleep than you have been until the baby becomes accustomed to the new "no night-nursing" regime.
7. Read Elizabeth Pantleys' The No-Cry Sleep Solution, which has lots of gentle ways to get your baby to sleep longer and better at night without using CIO methods.

Good luck!

[urchin_grey]

Thanks. I will relay these back to her.

Like I said, I never dealt with this, and like you, the first thing that came to my mind was that she needed help at night, but her SO is very uninvolved in the baby care. Most nights, they don't even sleep in the same house (I don't think they're going to be together much longer)...

[BnInTheOvn]

Also, tell her to keep in mind that this is around the time molars come in... and even though you cant see them yet, doesnt mean they dont hurt. My daughter slept through the night at 8 weeks, until 6 months. then stopped completely until 19 months (YES, Im serious). she got her first tooth at 6 months, and the last one at 19 months.

The molars were the WORST, so that may be what the problem is, as many babies sleep patterns are horrible when they come in. And there are 4 of them... so it is a loooong time before they sleep well again. They all act differently, Annalise woke up only once a night sometimes, but stayed up. Wide awake. for 4 hours. several times a week, for about a month straight.

Have your sister try giving tylenol or motrin before bed... if it's not his teeth, then it wont hurt him but if it is the teeth hopefully it'll help. It didnt help with Annalise much though... But she can also try baby orajel, or teething tablets...
And Ive heard camomile tablets are wonderful as well but never actually used them myself (maybe i should have).

Otherwise, I know this sounds completely unhelpful, It WILL end at some point. I really believed it never would but it does...

But I agree with having someone else do night time -- does she have a relative that would stay, even for a night? Even just one night of rest will help her out.

[pbjmama]

Alot of the tips pps gave are good. The crying/demanding can be bad the first couple nights but if you have another parent to help it gets better fast. Separation helped too. We used a sippy of water as a substitute.

[jmom713]

I just wanted to chime in that yes you are right, she does need to do something. I am still doing numerous nightly sessions for my DS at 31 months, but if it was someone with seizure disorder, I would worry about their health. My DH has siezure disorder and sleep is an absolute must or he starts having mini seizures all day long...even with the meds. Nursing is important, but a healthy mom is a must. some excellent suggestions were listed by a pp and your sister should try them out. good luck!