Security at pick up?

[SunshineJ]

I'm a little concerned about the security procedures at DS's school for end of day pick up after classes end. Please tell me if this is normal, it's possible I'm overreacting a bit.

The kids that are picked up by parents, caregivers, etc. go to the large atrium by the office. There are several teachers there and one will radio back what students cars are in line next. The teachers will get those students and walk them safely to the car that is there to pick them up. So far, not bad. DH normally picks up DS, but I do on occasion. The first day I did, the teacher asked who I was there for. I told her DS's name. "Are you mom?" A simple yes and the child was released to me. DH has said there've been times he's seen them tell drivers "Oh his grandmother already picked him up" or "She's already been picked up by someone else". Maybe they knew the person, who knows? They sure didn't have a clue who I was, having never seen me before. Older kids would hopefully say something if they didn't recognize the driver, but a kindy child may just follow teachers orders. Or, if one parent isn't allowed to pick up the child, but the child eagerly goes with mom or dad, would the teachers have a clue? This really disturbs me, but I'm not sure what the "norm" is here either.

Thoughts? Thanks!
K.

[Flor]

How old are the children? Preschools here have a sign-in and out policy, but for ages 5 and up the kids just go outside and leave with whomever.

[octobermom]

Kids are only released to those on the emergancy cards we filled out at the begining of the year. If its not a parent they have to know what days till they know these people ID was required. (or the special name plate parents were issued) This is at least the policy for Kindegarden not sure on the rest of the school.

Deanna

[shaywyn]

Originally Posted by Flor

ages 5 and up the kids just go outside and leave with whomever.

Whoa, that does not sound like a policy I would be comfortable with, at least not for the lower grades.

[reader18]

this is exactly how our pickup works for our school. i've reviewed with my ds several times that only dh, myself or another family friend would pick him up and that he is never to get in anyone else's car, but i'm not too worried.

if you have concerns specific to your situation you could always speak with someone at the school.

[Flor]

Originally Posted by shaywyn

Whoa, that does not sound like a policy I would be comfortable with, at least not for the lower grades.

I've really never seen it any other way. I've worked at several schools and dss has attended 2 different ones. The bell rings and the kids go outside. I would like it is if it wasn't so, but that is how all the schools are around here.

[Satori]

Originally Posted by Flor

How old are the children? Preschools here have a sign-in and out policy, but for ages 5 and up the kids just go outside and leave with whomever.

Originally Posted by Flor

I've really never seen it any other way. I've worked at several schools and dss has attended 2 different ones. The bell rings and the kids go outside. I would like it is if it wasn't so, but that is how all the schools are around here.

yep, this is also the norm here. Kindy on up parents wait outside the school and all the kids come out at once. Any one left over after 10 min are gathered near the flag pole to wait for who ever shows up.

[AuntNi]

Our procedure is the teacher walks the kids outside, and the kid tells the teacher they see their parent. The teacher always catches my eye and waves.

I do worry about problems with non-custodial parents/grandparents. But my girlfriend who just finished a hideously awful custody battle makes sure to stay in close contact with the school regarding who's allowed to pick up her kids.

[CarrieMF]

Here when the bell rings there are some parents in the school by their kids classes & pick them up there. There are some parents sitting in the parking lot or parked on the street & the kids go out & find their parent's vehicle there. There are kids who walk out of the school & go home by themselves. There are 2 busses that park right outside the school doors & 1 that parks on the street. The kids for those busses stand outside where their bus parks until the bus gets there. There are also 2 more busses that come a little later, weather permitting, those kids are playing on the schoolgrounds until they're called. There are 2 bus supervisors that are montioring to make sure the kids are getting on the buses safely & not running around the parking lot.

This is the policy for all kids kindergarten-grade 6.

Depending on which out of town bus the kids go on, some of them have to transfer busses at the highschool.

There is no checking cards to make sure someone is with the right parent, signing in or signing out of children, pick up lines, or anything like that.

New kindergarten kids do have a bus tag on their backpacks so the supervisors know which bus that child goes on.

I have no problems with our policies. Sometimes I"m there to pick my kids up, if not they walk home.

[Evan&Anna's_Mom]

Our pickup is much like you describe, but with only 140 students in the school, the teachers get to know people really fast. And I think that most K students would say "I don't know this person" if a stranger tried to claim them. I know that once in K DS refused to go with a mom he knew (classmate's mom) for a playdate because I had forgotten to tell him it was OK. I would also trust that for families where they knew there was a potential issue at pickup (custody fight, for example) that they would be more careful.

Honestly, for elementary school students, I think there needs to be some level of trust of the student. If you think your child would get in a car with a stranger, then you need to address it with your child, not the school.

[meowmix]

I did the kiss and ride car pickup for a while. They really do get to know the parents who pick up the kids. They learned to recognize my car and had my son waiting for me as I pulled up. I park and walk to meet them in the front now. The K level kids are released first- they are walked to the front by their class teacher in a line. The kids who have parents waiting let the teacher know they saw them and when the teacher makes a visual on me, she opens the door and lets Rachael out. She won't release Rachael until she sees me. I notified the office and her teachers when my MIL was picking them up for a week and it wasn't a problem. For the busses, I think the 6th graders serve as patrols or something. They lead the K kids to the waiting buses in a line. After the K kids are sorted out, they release the rest of the kids. All the older grades just leave and I guess know where they are supposed to go. No one helps them and they are released on their own. I don't have a problem with it. I have also told my kids that it's only my husband and I who will ever pick them up and they should never ever go with anyone else, even if we know them, unless we have told them ahead of time (we have no extended family in state but they would be the obvious exception).

[indie]

My daughter is normally a bus rider, but the car rider procedures are that everyone who normally rides in a car has a car rider number. The parents have a yellow rear view mirror hanger (its hand made though so could be easily faked if you wanted). A school staffer calls out numbers as the cars arrive and the kids come forward when they are called and older volunteer kids help them into the car. If there is a change in the normal car rider/bus rider/walker status then a note needs to go to school in advance. One time I had informed the school I'd be picking up instead of the bus and as I was waiting in line I watched as some confused helper tried to push my child into someone else car while my child was fighting back and pointing to my car. I was glad to know that my 5 year old was prepared to stick up for herself but it was also more than a little freaky.

[Heavenly]

I don't see the problem. I mean, do you really think someone is going to kidnap your child from school? Do you know what the chances are of that? When I was a kid I was walking home from school by myself when I was 6 and it was not a short walk. I think it is a MAJOR stretch to think some kidnapper is going to get in the car line, wait their turn, and then tell the teacher that they are there to get such and such a child. Seriously.

[4Marmalade]

Very similar policy at our school. Anyone being picked up goes outside the bus doors and waits with the principal. The principal OK's the child to go get into the vehicle once she sees who is there to pick up. I am comfortable with this as we have a small school and the principal recognizes me, my dh and my ds. My ds is only 6 but I cannot imagine him ever leaving with a stranger. He normally takes the bus and I know if someone tried to pick him up he would be extremely cautious, wonder what the heck was going on and ask lots of questions as well as talk to a teacher/principal (very much his personality though).

[MattBronsil]

Originally Posted by SunshineJ

I'm a little concerned about the security procedures at DS's school for end of day pick up after classes end. Please tell me if this is normal, it's possible I'm overreacting a bit.

The kids that are picked up by parents, caregivers, etc. go to the large atrium by the office. There are several teachers there and one will radio back what students cars are in line next. The teachers will get those students and walk them safely to the car that is there to pick them up. So far, not bad. DH normally picks up DS, but I do on occasion. The first day I did, the teacher asked who I was there for. I told her DS's name. "Are you mom?" A simple yes and the child was released to me. DH has said there've been times he's seen them tell drivers "Oh his grandmother already picked him up" or "She's already been picked up by someone else". Maybe they knew the person, who knows? They sure didn't have a clue who I was, having never seen me before. Older kids would hopefully say something if they didn't recognize the driver, but a kindy child may just follow teachers orders. Or, if one parent isn't allowed to pick up the child, but the child eagerly goes with mom or dad, would the teachers have a clue? This really disturbs me, but I'm not sure what the "norm" is here either.

Thoughts? Thanks!
K.

Talk to the individual school about it. The question about whether one parent is not allowed to pick up the child should be something the school already knows.

Anyone who I don't recognize, I ask for an ID and check against the forms we have. I had one person I hadn't seen in a while (months) and did not recognize get annoyed at me because she had to go back to her car. The parents in the line thanked me for that and the lady actually did as well when she came back to pick up the child.

[meemee]

Originally Posted by Flor

but for ages 5 and up the kids just go outside and leave with whomever.

yup that is how it is with my dd's elem school here in CA. i have seen this with other schools here too. i have noticed though that the grade K teachers come out and talk to the parents. but they dont keep an eye out on who is picking up whom. lower elem gets out first and 15 mins later the older kids get out. no supervision there either. the yard duty person is there to lock up after all teh students leave and then the rest of the students who dont get picked up are taken to the office.

[WantRice]

Originally Posted by SunshineJ

I'm a little concerned about the security procedures at DS's school for end of day pick up after classes end. Please tell me if this is normal, it's possible I'm overreacting a bit.

The kids that are picked up by parents, caregivers, etc. go to the large atrium by the office. There are several teachers there and one will radio back what students cars are in line next. The teachers will get those students and walk them safely to the car that is there to pick them up. So far, not bad. DH normally picks up DS, but I do on occasion. The first day I did, the teacher asked who I was there for. I told her DS's name. "Are you mom?" A simple yes and the child was released to me. DH has said there've been times he's seen them tell drivers "Oh his grandmother already picked him up" or "She's already been picked up by someone else". Maybe they knew the person, who knows? They sure didn't have a clue who I was, having never seen me before. Older kids would hopefully say something if they didn't recognize the driver, but a kindy child may just follow teachers orders. Or, if one parent isn't allowed to pick up the child, but the child eagerly goes with mom or dad, would the teachers have a clue? This really disturbs me, but I'm not sure what the "norm" is here either.

Thoughts? Thanks!
K.

Wow, I've only seen this kind of pickup in Mexico where the wealthy families were afraid of kidnappings etc.. I taught in Mexico for one year and am now back in Canada where we take the kids outside, they tell us who is here for them and that's it. We get word of who is NOT supposed to pick the child up if there is a dangerous custody situation or something. Why the need for such tight security where you are?

[mammastar2]

For the first week or two, at least in first grade, the teacher walks the children out, the kids line up, and are released one by one ("Do you see your mom/dad/grandparent/etc? Ok, off you go.")

After that, for the rest of the year, the doors open, they gallop out, they find their grownup. If they don't see their grownup, there are a few teachers on yard duty for 15 minutes and they can bring it to their attention.

It freaked me out a little at first, but it works fine and they adapt quickly to it. Dd knows where her babysitter waits, and all the kids she looks after head over to that end of the yard. I guess kids who are picked up by car know where their grown-up waits, or else the grown-up parks and comes to wait in the yard.

I've never heard of any problems. I imagine if there were a custody issue the school would be advised, and be more vigilant.

[SunshineJ]

Originally Posted by Heavenly

I don't see the problem. I mean, do you really think someone is going to kidnap your child from school? Do you know what the chances are of that? When I was a kid I was walking home from school by myself when I was 6 and it was not a short walk. I think it is a MAJOR stretch to think some kidnapper is going to get in the car line, wait their turn, and then tell the teacher that they are there to get such and such a child. Seriously.

Excuse me but seriously? I clearly stated I did not know if this were the norm in most schools or not and that it concerned me, no where did I say that I thought kidnappers were waiting in line to grab my child and run. (Although I have no doubt in some custody situations the non-custodial parent may try to do exactly what you just described, at my mom's school she saw it happen more than once.) At daycare and preschool there are usually very stringent rules on how a child is released and to whom. The facility knows exactly who picked up what child and when. Obviously I know that elementary school is different than daycare or preschool, but as my child has been in the school system for a total of approximately 2 1/2 - 3 months and the switch to being a car rider is new for us, I do still have some concerns and questions as to how things are done both here and in general. I apologize if my unfamiliarity with the way schools work seems pointless or ridiculous to you, I'm just trying to get a handle on how things work now as opposed to when I was in school a few decades ago when it was safe to a lot of things we wouldn't consider today.

K.

[Twinklefae]

Another point to keep in mind is that even if a non-custodial parent arrives, and has been forbidden to pick up the child, the school cannot stop them. They can try to talk them out of it, contact the other parent and the police, but they cannot stop it. (Too much risk to everyone.) At least, that's been the rule in every school I've ever worked in.