Ex-husband fighting me on vaccines!

[Stackmama]

When I was married, my husband and I were on the same page. We did a lot of research on the issue and decided we would selectively vax our 4-year-old and did so. When my 2-year-old was born we decided we would not vaccinate her at all. Then we got divorced.

Now he has a new fiance' and newborn baby and lives in a townhome where the baby next door died of bacterial meningitis for which, he says, was vaccine-preventable. Now he is pro-vax all the way, mainstream everything, and everything his new girlfriend says about parenting is the right way and everything I want or we agreed upon is wrong. He is putting the kids on his insurance in January and states that he wants more say-so in their healthcare because of this and I'm terrified he is going to take them to the doctor and vaccinate them against my wishes!

I don't really know what to do. I'm thinking if it got brought up in court, the court would probably side with him since it's mainstream thinking that you should.

What in the world can I do?

[Ophelia]

What an awful place to be in, I'm so sorry How scary. DH and I disagree on vaxes (so much that he bullied/forced DS into most of them against my wishes). I live in the TC area also.

I know there are lawyers that specialize in vaccination issues and custody issues. Maybe you can contact Christina at:
http://www.vaccineawarenessminnesota.org/

Also:

http://www.vaccineinjury.org/ (maybe they know someone who can help)

http://www.vaccinerights.com/ (custody disputes)

About the baby who died, there are many different types of bacterial menegitis, so the baby would have had to been tested specifically for which one, to know if it would have been covered by one of the vaccines or not.

[wallacesmum]

That does sound tough. First, I would not assume anything. I would not assume that he is going to try to get them vaccinated. I would try to validate his fears about the meningitis. As tempting as it is to dismiss it with the data, the experience of knowing a baby who died has a lot of emotional relevance, and trying to respond with statistics will only make him feel as if you aren't listening. Maybe you guys can sit down and just talk, talk about your fears together, talk about what has changed in his thinking and why. Do you have that kind of relationship?

[Gitti]

1. The child who died of meningitis probably had the vaccine. It was most likley not a strand coverd in the shot. Happens more and more. Find out!

2. Buy his gf the book from Aviva Jill Romm - Healthy Babies, healthy children. Perhaps that will change her perspective a little. Make it a present from the kids to her.

You can get a lot done by making the situation between you and his gf somewhat amicable. imo, that is your best chance to avoid vaccinating your kids.

[mommyto3girls]

I am sorry you are in this situation. Because I was concerned that my ex would someday change his stance (he never read anything one way or the other, let me make the decision not to vax after Sierra died from the Hep B vaccine) I had the following line put into our final divorce decree in the medical section about the kids.

The parents agree that no vaccinations shall be administered to either child under any circumstances without notarized wirtten consent of both parents.


I am sorry.

[Ophelia]

Sierra Kendall

I'm so sorry I cannot imagine.