Originally Posted by lilyka
I think what one expcts makes a huge difference babout how we feel about this. My childen hav no expectation of pivacy. i you write it people will read it. if you photograph it people will see it. if you bring it in the house the dog will chew it. everything on the internet is public poperty. No one in this house house has a huge expectation of privacy. We are lucky if the bathroom door stays shut while we ae pooing. ooms are shared, living areas ar common and we have on computer that has filters, reports etc. but they know all this. and I think it is a good thing to know. So many people get into trouble beause they think they are so clever and that a passwod or taboo or whatver is going to potect them but if you don't want it accessible don't leave the evidence around.
I think that is true. In our home we have an expectation of privacy. Although my son is only 3, he is able to have private time in the bathroom to use the toilet if he wants it, and we have discussed his "private parts" and why they are private. And we intend to keep having that discussion.
My husband is free to write in his journal and I in mine and not have to store them in locked boxes. We each may have time in the bathroom with the door shut to do... whatever we want to do.
We both are free to participate in communities - online and off - without having to record each other's keystrokes or report on what exactly was said because we both trust each other fundamentally and
believe that part of being an autonomous human being involves some privacy - like being able to go out for lunch with a girlfriend and vent.
I value my time on these forums where I occasionally share things about my experience of growing up with my parents' foibles, or frustrations, and while there is nothing that I would write that would be a dealbreaker in those relationships, I also choose my place and time so that I can have these conversations apart from them with a reasonable - not rock-solid - expectation that they're not likely to 'overhear'. I use a username that does identify me well enough that if you looked you could spot me, but it also isn't so unique as to come up on Google.
I'm ok with my son doing the same in his future.
I don't personally think the only answer is "everything online is public so I can read all your email anytime I want." It's an ethical question we all are grappling with - for example, it may or may not be legal to forward email, but we all
need to think about whether it is ethical. Is it right to post email to a bulletin board to make fun of it because "it's public"? These are not simple things.
I think a lot of these questions were raised with phone lines (anyone else remember party lines?) but can you imagine if your neighbour tapped your line? Ha.
I value privacy and I also value the ability to have different connections and conversations with different people without having to run them past my family as a censor. And I intend to provide that for my son.
I can see that other homes operate differently and that's fine, just expressing my views.