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Preteens and movies... would you let your 13yo see this? - Page 2

post #21 of 103
Thread Starter 
Thanks everyone for your replies.
My concern with the movie is the whole concept of this girl being "prey" throughout the movie. I'm also not a fan of how violent it looks.
Dh has said that he'll go watch it and decide from there.

Thanks again everyone.
post #22 of 103
I'm planning to take my just turned 15 year old daughter and a group of her friends from church, ages ranging from 13 - 17.
post #23 of 103
Try checking out the movie on one of the family movie review sites: http://www.google.com/search?hl=en&client=firefox-a&rls=org.mozilla:en-USfficial&hs=fen&sa=X&oi=spell&resnum=0&ct=resul t&cd=1&q=family+movie+review&spell=1. They'll offer more specifics about exactly what to expect in regard to violence, horror, sex, drugs etc., so that you can make a better educated choice -- and one that works for *your* family
post #24 of 103
I can't WAIT to see this movie. 13yo DD and her girlfriends turned me on to the books. They were great steamy summer reading. DS1 tried reading them, thinking it'd make him a chick magnet, but he just couldn't deal.
I also appreciate the acknowledging of intense passion but staying abstinent.
Now if we want to discuss deplorable media...don't get me started on Gossip Girl, another current obsession of DD and her girlfriends. I seriously limit how much of that she watches.
post #25 of 103
We will be taking our 2.5 and 6 year old, so yeah . . . I'd take my teenager.

What do parents hope to accomplish by censoring their kids' viewing?
post #26 of 103
I'd let my 13 yo see it. And I'd go with her if I could!

I'd rather go see that than the movies my 10 yo currently wants to see, which are HSM 3 (of course!) and Beverly Hills Chihuahua.

Jessy1019 - I know when I censor my kids' viewing of a movie, I'm usually hoping to accomplish me actually being able to focus on the movie instead of my 4.5 yo! (I know that's not what you meant but that's just what I was thinking.) Will your 2.5 yo sit through a movie like this? My 4.5 yo sure wouldn't.
post #27 of 103
Quote:
Originally Posted by Jessy1019 View Post
We will be taking our 2.5 and 6 year old, so yeah . . . I'd take my teenager.

What do parents hope to accomplish by censoring their kids' viewing?

*avoiding nightmares
*avoiding emotional stress (the kids and mine)
*avoiding desensitising chilkdren to acts of violence

What do parents hope to accomplish by NOT censoring thier kids' viewing?

eta: censoring childrens' viewing as they increase in age becomes more subjective and maybe less necessary, but for small children, limiting their exposure to certain elements seems logical to me.
post #28 of 103
Quote:
Originally Posted by Jessy1019 View Post
What do parents hope to accomplish by censoring their kids' viewing?
protection from trauma.
post #29 of 103
Quote:
Originally Posted by Jessy1019 View Post
We will be taking our 2.5 and 6 year old, so yeah . . . I'd take my teenager.

What do parents hope to accomplish by censoring their kids' viewing?
Humorous considering you disallow your children from watching anything that has some one who's adopted a child in it like... Angelina Joile.

I imagine that other parents who censor their children's viewing are doing something similar. Trying to uphold a family standard.
post #30 of 103
I don't worry much about sexual content or nudity but I do try to limit the violence my child sees. I'm also not a fan of the "one true love/ destined to be together" romantic nonsense that seems to be dripping from this story by the bucket, so I try to limit exposure to that as well. A teen who was basically sensible I might let see it. A small child? No.
post #31 of 103
Quote:
What do parents hope to accomplish by censoring their kids' viewing?
I'd prefer my kids NOT be exposed to age-inappropriate images/violence or issues they're not old enough to process. Children, IMO, are not miniature adults, and I completely believe it is a huge disservice to children to NOT "censor" them from much of the media. I am by no means anti-TV or movies, but below sums up part of why I "censor." I'm also not an expert fetishist, to me this seems like common sense:

Quote:
The American Psychological Association (APA) notes that children who regularly watch violence on television are more fearful and distrustful of the world, less bothered by violence, and slower to intervene or call for help when they see fighting or destructive behavior. A poll by the Los Angeles Times reported that 91 percent of children said they felt "upset" or "scared" by violence on television. A University of Pennsylvania study found that children's TV shows contain roughly 20 acts of violence each hour. After watching violent programs, the APA reports, children are more likely to act out aggressively, and children who are regularly exposed to violent programming show a greater tendency toward hitting, arguing, leaving tasks unfinished, and impatience. The Yale University Family Television and Consultation Center reveals that imagination decreases as TV watching increases. Complex language and grammar skills are directly linked to fantasy play, and children who create fantasy play are more tolerant, peaceful, patient, and happy.
and

Quote:
Joseph Chilton Pearce, author of Magical Child and, most recently, The Biology of Transcendence, says that it is television itself, not only its programming, that is dangerous. He says that children need the early time of imagination and play and that watching television prematurely matures their brains for more abstract thinking. The 60-year research of Paul MacLean, former head of the Department of Brain Evolution and Behavior at the National Institutes of Health, shows that we are never a mindless body. We are always using all three of our brains-reptilian: physical survival; limbic:group survival; and neocortex:survival of our creations. Information from the outside world goes first to the reptilian brain and then to the neocortex. All three brains perceive an image. The first and second brain, by their nature, believe and accept the image as true. A half second elapses and hundreds of thousands of nerve relationships occur between the time the reptile in us senses something and the human in us classifies it. By the time that happens, we will have already had a physical and emotional experience.
I could go on and on, but I will spare y'all
post #32 of 103
Quote:
Originally Posted by Jessy1019 View Post
We will be taking our 2.5 and 6 year old, so yeah . . . I'd take my teenager.

What do parents hope to accomplish by censoring their kids' viewing?
Exposing young children to violence and horror is not good for their development, and them's the facts! Why?

Because little children aren't at the same level as adults or teens. I say this as an anti-censorship teacher who is training to be a library teacher. You can be anti-censorship without losing common sense. I wouldn't let me kid stuff herself on chocolate cake, or drink beer at that age, so no movies that were designed for teen-agers (and me) thanks.

At 13? Go for it!
post #33 of 103
Quote:
Originally Posted by Jessy1019 View Post
We will be taking our 2.5 and 6 year old, so yeah . . . I'd take my teenager.

What do parents hope to accomplish by censoring their kids' viewing?
I thought censorship was forbidding everyone else from seeing it.

Not allowing your kids to see inappropriate material, or material that does not meet your families standards of decency and values, is just plain good old fashioned parenting.
post #34 of 103
Quote:
Dh has said that he'll go watch it and decide from there.
That sounds like a very responsive and caring approach. Please keep us updated
post #35 of 103
Quote:
Originally Posted by lindberg99 View Post
Jessy1019 - I know when I censor my kids' viewing of a movie, I'm usually hoping to accomplish me actually being able to focus on the movie instead of my 4.5 yo! (I know that's not what you meant but that's just what I was thinking.) Will your 2.5 yo sit through a movie like this? My 4.5 yo sure wouldn't.
Yeah, my son will sit through it (or, if really bored, nurse and fall asleep). He is a good movie-watcher, just like his sister.

Not censoring is not to say I never go to the movies without my kids . . . when my son was a bit younger, and I didn't trust him to behave appropriately, he didn't come. But we never forbid our kids from watching anything.

Pynki:
Quote:
Humorous considering you disallow your children from watching anything that has some one who's adopted a child in it like... Angelina Joile.
I do?? Really?? I am quite certain I've never said that. I will not pay to see something with Angelina Jolie in it, but that doesn't mean my kids aren't allowed to watch if they want to . . . they could always borrow the movie from the library or from friends who don't share our objection.

Mamameg:
Quote:
*avoiding nightmares
*avoiding emotional stress (the kids and mine)
*avoiding desensitising chilkdren to acts of violence
We've never censored, and we've never had issues with any of that. I was not censored as a child, and I've never had issues with those things, either. I think it's largely in the way movies are presented to a child . . . if they understand that what they're watching is fictional, there's very little reason to get stressed (beyond the adrenaline rush that is the point of watching something scary) or have nightmares. And I don't agree that fictional media desensitizes kids to REAL violence -- my kids are certainly capable of understanding the difference there.

Quote:
What do parents hope to accomplish by NOT censoring thier kids' viewing?
Keeping an open dialogue, sharing family time, talking about issues as they come up (movies and tv have helped to bring up things that wouldn't naturally come up in our family but that make for great discussions), being entertained, adhering to our values (which are decidedly anti-censorship), and treating our kids with the respect they deserve.

I think a lot of people grossly underestimate their children, and that's a shame.
post #36 of 103
Yes, he can watch just about anything.
post #37 of 103
I think certain movies have to be a parental judgement call, and I think we can't assume all children have the same sensitivity to horror and sexuality presented on the screen.

I have seen little kids crying from being scared in certain movies, so yes, I do believe in being sensitive to each child's needs. Tom and Jerry gave me nightmares from the episode with the big dog and teeth popping out.

I might be way off, but I believe that:
An average 5 year old is likely to find this movie scary and unappealing.
An average 13 y.o. will enjoy it, if they like romantic stories without any trauma or being exposed to anything too disgusting.

just my 2 cents.
I think OP has found a wonderful compromise.
post #38 of 103
Quote:
Originally Posted by Jessy1019 View Post
Keeping an open dialogue, sharing family time, talking about issues as they come up (movies and tv have helped to bring up things that wouldn't naturally come up in our family but that make for great discussions), being entertained, adhering to our values (which are decidedly anti-censorship), and treating our kids with the respect they deserve.

I think a lot of people grossly underestimate their children, and that's a shame.
We still do all those things and my kids don't watch things that are inappropriate for them. My 2.5 comes to me when he's scared of certain scenes in Shrek - it's not too much of a stretch for me to know he would be upset by anything scarier than that.

And don't "it's a shame" me. There's nothing shameful about not letting my kids watch stuff that they haven't asked to watch, nor do they even know is out there. What would be a shame is if I didn't respond to what I know to be their emotional limits. That's not underestimating them. That's knowing my kids.
post #39 of 103
Quote:
Originally Posted by mamameg View Post
We still do all those things and my kids don't watch things that are inappropriate for them. My 2.5 comes to me when he's scared of certain scenes in Shrek - it's not too much of a stretch for me to know he would be upset by anything scarier than that.

And don't "it's a shame" me. There's nothing shameful about not letting my kids watch stuff that they haven't asked to watch, nor do they even know is out there. What would be a shame is if I didn't respond to what I know to be their emotional limits. That's not underestimating them. That's knowing my kids.

But there comes a point when the children have to respond to their own emotional limits ... I know its different for every kid but I think by 13 most kids are there.

this thread is not regarding toddlers
post #40 of 103
Quote:
Originally Posted by Jessy1019 View Post
I do?? Really?? I am quite certain I've never said that. I will not pay to see something with Angelina Jolie in it, but that doesn't mean my kids aren't allowed to watch if they want to . . . they could always borrow the movie from the library or from friends who don't share our objection.
That hardly improves it. Splitting hairs.
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