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Preteens and movies... would you let your 13yo see this? - Page 3

post #41 of 103
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Keeping an open dialogue, sharing family time, talking about issues as they come up (movies and tv have helped to bring up things that wouldn't naturally come up in our family but that make for great discussions), being entertained, adhering to our values (which are decidedly anti-censorship), and treating our kids with the respect they deserve.
You've talked about letting your two year old watch Saw and I just can not see what purpose that serves. It sounds really important when you talk about treating your kids with respect and bringing up "issues" but I still think it's irresponsible to have a child that young anywhere near that level of gore and violence. I didn't let my child eat a hamburger till she was more than 18 months old. That doesn't mean I was censoring her choices, I was just making sure she was developed enough to handle it. I think it's much the same thing.

To the OP, I've read the books and they're really on about a 13 year old level. I'd say they're more sappy than violent, although as this is a film I'm sure the violence will be pretty splashy. I find the dynamic between the main characters to be pretty gross (he's kind of a creep anda a bit of a stalker) but it might be a good place to start talking about healthy relationships (for example, any guy that spys on you is probably not going to make for a real healthy relationship).
post #42 of 103
Jessy1019, I cannot resist asking . Even though it's maybe off topic a bit but it pertains to what people would allow or disallow their kids to watch so I guess it doesn't stray too much. Would you allow your children to watch hardcore porn?

I ask because for me that would be akin to setting my kids up in front of a movie like Saw.
post #43 of 103
The teen vampires in Twilight are all "adopted" by the Cullens.... It's a pretty positive potrayal of adoption, too, IMO.
post #44 of 103
I can't wait for it! I will probably be taking my 11 year old niece, so yeah, I'd let her see it.
post #45 of 103
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Originally Posted by Cherie2 View Post
But there comes a point when the children have to respond to their own emotional limits ... I know its different for every kid but I think by 13 most kids are there.

this thread is not regarding toddlers
i agree that we gt off subject and 13 is old enough to watch a lot of movies and that kids, generally, by that age, can judge for themselves.
post #46 of 103
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Originally Posted by mamameg View Post
There's nothing shameful about not letting my kids watch stuff that they haven't asked to watch, nor do they even know is out there.
I agree, if they haven't asked to see something and you don't want them to see it or don't want to see it yourself, don't bring it up. But if they have asked, and you've denied them, I think that's unfair and disrespectful.

We've always talked to our kids about what to expect from different movies, and ultimately, watching or not watching has been up to them.

kmeyrick:
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That hardly improves it. Splitting hairs.
The difference is not putting money into someone's pocket if you think she's going to spend it on something unethical.

NiteNicole:
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It sounds really important when you talk about treating your kids with respect and bringing up "issues" but I still think it's irresponsible to have a child that young anywhere near that level of gore and violence.
So don't take your kids to see those movies. Censoring kids' media goes against MY values and the values with which I am raising my children, and I feel censoring is far more harmful to my children than allowing them to choose what they'd like to watch.

Mamajama:
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Would you allow your children to watch hardcore porn?
No, but if they asked, I would explain that I could go to jail/they could get taken away if I allowed them to watch it. That's the only reason I would really be opposed to it . . . I don't think there's anything harmful about porn and it would sure make for some interesting conversations!
post #47 of 103
No. I wouldn't.

I'm going to let my 16 yr old see it, but not at age 13. I'm kinda picky about what she saw and read.

O.K... wait. I just looked again. It's only rated p.g 13. So, maaaaybe I would. I thought it was rated R.

I personally think it looks stupid, but, that's just my opinion.
post #48 of 103
I find it intriguing that the only reason you wouldn't let your kids watch hardcore porn is because it's illegal. You don't really strike me as one to use The Law as your moral compass.
post #49 of 103
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Originally Posted by MaterPrimaePuellae View Post
The teen vampires in Twilight are all "adopted" by the Cullens.... It's a pretty positive potrayal of adoption, too, IMO.
Off to Barnes and Noble for me. I think I'll pick up some Angelina Jolie movies while I'm at it.
post #50 of 103
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Originally Posted by mamajama View Post
I find it intriguing that the only reason you wouldn't let your kids watch hardcore porn is because it's illegal. You don't really strike me as one to use The Law as your moral compass.
It's not my moral compass. It's my keeping-my-kids-safe-and-not-getting-them-stupidly-snatched-by-the-state compass.
post #51 of 103
I saw this last night and I really liked it! Definitely appropriate for a 13 yo IMO, but then again, I'd let my 6 yo watch it.
post #52 of 103
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Originally Posted by Jessy1019 View Post
It's not my moral compass. It's my keeping-my-kids-safe-and-not-getting-them-stupidly-snatched-by-the-state compass.
That's rather tinfoil hat.
post #53 of 103
My newly 13 yo DD is watching this movie as I speak with her best friend and my best friend. I read all the books first, and then she read them.

I'm VERY over protective about what she's allowed to see/read, and at this age I give a little more because she is getting older.

The first book in this series was quite lame as far as violence and sex goes (there wasn't really any sex- just a huge crush going on) so I feel confident in allowing her to watch.
post #54 of 103
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But there comes a point when the children have to respond to their own emotional limits ... I know its different for every kid but I think by 13 most kids are there.
Exactly. My mother was very into being protective about what shows and movies I watched, and it was embarassing and disrespectful, IMO. The movie is PG-13, and a lot of thought (a ridiculous, arbitrary, and very conservative amount of thought) goes into that rating. I remember a friend bringing over "Top Gun" and my mother freaking out because of the lovemaking scene it's nothing we didn't already learn in school! Really, what on earth is going to happen at worst? A nightmare? I've done a lot of childcare so I've seen families control these types of things many ways, with no difference between the children at all except the kids who aren't allowed are frustrated they don't get to see something they'd enjoy. No one is suggesting hardcore porn or Faces of Death for kids but Twilight? Seriously?
post #55 of 103
After reading the books and discussing them, I would most likely let a 13 year old see it. I was there opening night, myself, probably the oldest person in the audience! I agree that there are themes that could definitely use discussion in the "fantasy vs. reality" area, including the stalking and danger aspects. Edward's danger doesn't translate well into real-world dating for teens.

But for a toddler or young child, I would not see the point. Whether or not they would be "harmed" by viewing it, what on earth would you expect them to get out of it? There is very little appeal. My 2 year old would be completely bored to tears about it and drive me (and the other patrons) up the wall! Therefore, the only reason to take her would be my own interest, which doesn't seem very fair to her or the people around us in the theater. Which is why I asked someone I trust to babysit while *I* went with my husband.

I think it is not a matter of censorship as respecting interests, maturity level, and potential after effects, not to mention other adults who don't want to hear your toddler say, "Mama, wassat?" for 2 solid hours.
post #56 of 103
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Originally Posted by magpiedee View Post
Whether or not they would be "harmed" by viewing it, what on earth would you expect them to get out of it? There is very little appeal.

<snip>

I think it is not a matter of censorship as respecting interests, maturity level, and potential after effects, not to mention other adults who don't want to hear your toddler say, "Mama, wassat?" for 2 solid hours.
Both of my children have no trouble following the movies we watch -- and they also know how to behave at the cinema. They've been to a ton of shows and never bothered a single person (including me).
post #57 of 103
First off, not all children are the same at any age so it depends on the child. But my 13 yr old could definitely see this one. In fact, I'd go see it with him. It looks like a very cool movie. My son is the type to take movies with stride. He can watch something and move on afterwards. It doesn't affect him. However, if you have an overly sensitive child or one that gets scared easily maybe think twice.
post #58 of 103
I think it's disrespectful to young children to take them to movies that deal with issues beyond their interest and comprehension. Not to mention a waste of $7. I'm pretty appalled that a parent would let a 2yo watch Saw. I can't imagine a child that age asking to watch the movie, so maybe it's just that my kids are really different. But I feel like the only purpose in allowing that to happen would be to gratify the parents' curiosity about how the child would react.

As parents, we make sacrifices to do what is right and developmentally appropriate for our children, and I think the ability to see all the grown-up movies we want in theaters is a relatively small and minor one.

I think Twilight is probably OK for a 13 yo, especially one who has read the book, and especially with a parent who can start a conversation about the issues it raises and how they intersect with your family's values.

If I was taking a small child to see a movie this weekend, I would go see Bolt.
post #59 of 103
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Originally Posted by Jessy1019 View Post
Both of my children have no trouble following the movies we watch -- and they also know how to behave at the cinema. They've been to a ton of shows and never bothered a single person (including me).
perhaps you were so caught up in the violence and gore of saw and faces of death that you didn't notice? or am i misremembering the two-year-old cowering in her seat and crying throughout saw? i know seeing a child of that age in the theatre, much less a frightened child and oblivious or uncaring parents, would bother me.

on topic, my 11 year old sister has read the books and is seeing the film this weekend, i plan on mentioning the relationship dynamics to her but she's quite good at differentiating between fantasy and reality.
post #60 of 103
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Originally Posted by sophiekat View Post
perhaps you were so caught up in the violence and gore of saw and faces of death that you didn't notice? or am i misremembering the two-year-old cowering in her seat and crying throughout saw? i know seeing a child of that age in the theatre, much less a frightened child and oblivious or uncaring parents, would bother me.

on topic, my 11 year old sister has read the books and is seeing the film this weekend, i plan on mentioning the relationship dynamics to her but she's quite good at differentiating between fantasy and reality.
It would really disturb me to see a child NOT bothered by a movie like that as well though
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