I posted Zephan's birth story here
Today was an amazing day. Zephan made a really good effort at breastfeeding while we were doing kangaroo care. He was wide awake for almost half an hour and he was able to open his mouth wide enough to latch on and suck for 10-20 seconds at a time. This is amazing for a 32 weeks gestational age. It felt so amazing to begin to breastfeed our son.
He also smiles.
When he is falling asleep or when he is waking up, he just grins. I know it's not in response to anything I'm doing, but it is amazing. Mamas, your baby's already smile!
This is hard. I won't lie. Leaving the hospital every day is one of the hardest things I've ever done. I want to be there all the time, although I need to recover and take care of our older boys. When I'm not near Zephan, I feel like I'm only half there. I should be spending the week after giving birth in bed cuddling with and nursing my baby. Instead, I've spent it driving to and from the hospital, pumping around the clock, running errands...and thankfully having a few hours each day of bliss holding our baby.