All I wanted to do was get them to THINK!!

[lovbeingamommy]

Plain and simple question mamas - Have you lost friends (women, men, or couples) because of your vax stance?

[spero]

No, because I make damn sure we're on the same page before I speak to any friends about vaccinations. And I don't speak to family members at all about this stuff, unless they bring up something specific that I can comment on.

I just don't need the hassle.

[maxwill129]

:

[uptowngirl]

No--not at all. But I tread very carefully about not sounding preachy---or make them feel bad about vaxing. No mom wants to feel like she did something wrong or possibly hurt her child. I have friends who fully vax on schedule and those who do not even want to be around a vaxed child. I vax on a delayed schedule, so I am able to be supportive to moms either way.

[CookAMH]

If it comes up, and I share a little bit of my position, and they seem interested in talking more, I will talk more. But if they seem like they are decided, I let it alone.

I have a friend who was VERY interested in a birth book that I brought up to her, and we had a great talk about today's interventions in birth. She plans to have a baby in the future. Knowing that she seemed to be one to think critically about things and not just accept the norm as right, I decided to email her yesterday and also suggest that she look at the current CDC schedule, that some moms I know delay, skip, omit, etc and I had info if she wanted it. She said, you must be reading my mind, DH and I were just talking about this and I'd love to do some research. If she had written back and said no thanks, that would be the end of it - her choice.

So I don't push it at all. My SIL seemed open to discussions last summer and I gave her some info, never heard back. I won't bring it up again. She knows hwer I stand.

Generally, if there are people who know that I have a different position on vaccines, I will let them bring it up, not me.

Another friend is delaying and skipping many - only doing 4, and though I don't agree with those 4, I have chosen not to mention anything. She's done her homework on it.

[Marnica]

Not yet! I do not advertise however and I generally don't seek out conversations about it. I honestly don't think many of my friends even know as it has not come up. If they asked me, I would tell them and if they were interested I d talk about it. If anybody ever ditched me or my son because of our decision, then I would say good riddance as i wouldn't want anybody that inflexible in my life!

[transformed]

I have a hard time because I really feel that vaccinating children puts them at risk. So I feel like vaxxers are endangering their kids.

I try not to talk about it unless they are open. But I always feel uncomfortable around people who vax.

[Full Heart]

No, because I don't discuss it with anyone unless they bring it up.

[CanidFL]

Not yet but that is just because I keep my mouth shut. I’m sure there are 2 friends I would lose very quickly if they found out our vax status. Family I also don’t talk about it with. I don’t want family tension over something that they could never understand since they would never read about it!

There are a few friends who do know but I knew they would be open to it before bringing it up.

It's hard for me to not talk about it since I love educating others on topics that are not mainstream but I can't risk my son losing friends over it or possibly getting a visit from CPS KWIM?

[RedPony]

Originally Posted by lovbeingamommy

Plain and simple question mamas - Have you lost friends (women, men, or couples) because of your vax stance?

Nope. I only ever share my opinion if someone asks, tho, and I try to NEVER criticize someone (outloud) if I can help it. I listen to what they have to say, state my feelings if wanted, and off we go.

[melissabb]

Well, I haven't actually lost any friends over it but there are definately some who I feel have distanced themselves a bit.

I was once part of a play group for two years. One christmas all the moms got together and the flu vax conversation came up. I was so astounded that all these moms had fully vaxed their kids for everything under the sun. My mistake was opening my mouth. I just couldn't sit there while they WRONGLY stated information pertaining to vax and why we ALL should get them. Then one of them had the audacity to say something about non-vaxers being "stupid". Of course, they had no idea I was a non-vaxer.

Anyway, long story short I lost it and started to correct their assumptions and just plain WRONG scientific data and third party information. Needless to say things were never the same after that night. I eventually stopped going to playdates because it just broke my heart when another mom would start talking about having just come from getting the "shots" that morning etc.

Oh, and Transformed wrote:

I have a hard time because I really feel that vaccinating children puts them at risk. So I feel like vaxxers are endangering their kids.

I have to say I also feel this way. As much as vaxxers may think of me as abusive for not vaxing I think of them as endangering their children for vaxing.

[k9sarchik]

No, I am very friend selective.
I do have some friends that do all the vaxes on schedule because they just wouldn't question modern medicine. I have given them some info on vaxes to definitely avoid, but I don't think they care.

At my friend's daughter's first birthday party she told me that her DD just got all her 12 month vaxes plus the flu shot and how it made her nervous.
All I said was holy crap. And she was just so proud to say how well her daughter handled them by only sleeping 12 hours straight. :

[Sheryl1678]

If someone asks me directly I will provide links or other information but as far as family and friends go, I do not bring it up (as much as I would like to). The whole concept is too deeply ingrained and too emotional.

[Rylins mama]

All of my friend know... I only have 1 friend who doesnt. That being said... some of them dont exactly agree with my stance on it but it hasnt changed their relationship with me. Some have asked me questions which I answer the best I can and dont shove anything in their faces. They all seem to be very respectful about it. Im sure I will meet someone at some point who ends the friendship over it though.

[claddaghmom]

No, but 1) I rarely talk about it and 2) I think I have an advantage b/c I am a "vaccine survivor." I've noticed people react differently to hearing a 1st person story than hearing scientific information.

[lovbeingamommy]

Thanks for all those quick repsonses. I agree and generally do keep mum about it all. If asked though I will certainly direct them in the way of both pro and con resources and say "you're the parent and please just make an informed decision as best you can." That's really my whole point of it all is to make people - analyze, synthesize and finally evaluate their decision using valid logic -

[Smokering]

Hmm... no, but I don't usually bring it up. I'm sure the in-laws aren't thrilled about it, but not vaxing is just one item on a very long list of Things We Tactfully Avoid Mentioning--so all's well. Well, sort of.

I do have a few friends with whom I discussed not vaxing, after which they came round and mentioned they had done it after all in a slightly embarrassed way. It was a tad awkward, but not too bad.

[mamadelbosque]

No, but then again, I try my darndes to avoid the subject around the vast, vast majority of folks... I think I could probably count on one hand the number of families/couples who know that we don't vax.