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I need to talk about writing since I became a mother

post #1 of 4
Thread Starter 
Here's my writer bio:

Kept myself busy through 4 years of infertility writing. Published several short stories. Some good, some bad. Some paid, some not. Went to writing conferences, joined writing groups including a pro group (which was way warped but that is another post), and wrote 2 novels. The first I decided was not publishable as it was behind the market curve, the second I marketed. The second got editor attention and I got a request for a full. Did the agent hunt, had some interest. Then the editor quit her job and my novel went in the great big blackhole of bad luck, no editor, no interest, too bad for me.

Then I had a baby (who is now 1). No sleep meant no writing although I did sell a few short non-fiction items while on maternity leave.

I feel like I'm losing my passion to write. But I still want to write. I don't know if I just need more time to assimilate motherhood or if I'm going through some sort dry spell. I'm frustrated b/c it would seem that I have the ability to write well enough to achieve my goal of publishing a book, but I can't seem to find the time or the inspiration to work on anything.

How did motherhood affect your writing? Did it change your genre? Change what you felt inspired about? Part of me wonders if I am going through some sort of artistic change that may plop me into another genre, but I couldn't tell you which one.

I feel very disconnected from something that used to really fulfill me and I want to get back into a regular rhythm but can't get past the disconnect. Does that make any sense?

V
post #2 of 4
Makes total sense to me! My writing has changed so much over the years, both in what type of writing I primarily do and in what topics I'm interested in. I used to write mostly fiction and now write non-fiction. Even with that, I've had somewhat of a writer's block lately. Part of that stems from not having the time to write with three kids and a VERY active baby who is not a good napper. I say every day that I'm going to write after the kids are asleep, but I seem to crash pretty early myself.

But, I've had a spark of interest in writing again lately and even in delving into fiction again some. I'm going to try to fit in in whenever I can, but man, it's hard sometimes!
post #3 of 4
I've struggled with some similar issues. While pregnant (both times) I had serious "pregnancy brain" and had major creativity blocks - not so great when you're into fiction. Not only couldn't I write, but I didn't even have any interest in reading, a MAJOR change for me. Since becoming a mom, my writing has changed. Where I used to be able to write for large blocks of time, now I literally do it in 5 minute increments. Makes flow a little tough. But while there was an adjustment period, I did adjust. I just recently attended my critique group and being with other writers has really lit the fire again. Good luck!
post #4 of 4
I found the same thing happened to me. My genre hasn't necessarily changed (I write contemporary women's fiction) but I feel the maturity and subject matter/content has changed since becoming a mother.

During my pregnancy with DS1, I journaled about the pregnancy but that was it. I just wasn't motivated/inpsired/feeling creative/insert blank here. I just couldn't. I would sit there with a blank document, or pencil poised, and... nada. I found it frustrating, and as the PP mentioned, pregnancy brain was a major problem. For a long time I thought I was done with writing.

I remember dabbling a little after he was born, but probably not until he was close to a year old and I was feeling a little more like myself again. The first serious writing I did since the pregnancy was NaNoWriMo in November 2007, when DS was 18mths old. I hadn't written much of anything since my BFP in August 2005. I dove into it and had passion again.

Go figure, I went through the same thing again when we conceived the following month (granted, we managed two major moves 3 weeks apart). I lost that baby, but found writing after my miscarriage was therapeutic, and then we conceived Jasper, who is 3 weeks old, and the same thing happened.

I am attempting NaNo again this year but I am forcing myself to churn out the words because I want to prove to myself that I CAN do it with a toddler and a newborn, but I am not very inspired, which bugs me because I want to be. It's just hard to focus.
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