Is having a 2 and a 4 year old the hardest time?

[Lohagrace]

I feel like having a 2 and a 4 year old is the hardest i've ever had it as a parent, and i'm hoping the worst it will get. It was hard when dd was almost 3and ds was a little baby, but nothing like this. i feel like i'm constantly on the edge of exploding and they are both up in my face non-stop.

I've noticed a lot of the posts on the discipline forum of the "i'm going to rip my hair out! my children drive me nuts!!!" variety are from parents who have a younger child around 2 and an older who is around 4.

I just feel like, if this isn't the hardest, most frustrating time i'm going to have as a parent, i'm not going to make it! I keep feeling like, maybe once my youngest is 3 or 4 things will be easier...maybe? right?

[cosmos]

You might hear "it doesn't get easier-just different" but I have to disagree with that and take your side.

It will, eventually end. I think you now that, being you are aware enough to make this post. Just try to go along with the madness and see some humor in it. life really doesn't make sense at this point

[mamamelia]

what was that you said? you're going to explode because you have 2 kids in your face non-stop? congratulations! you have a 4 and 2yo.

i dream of the day when i can just sh*t in peace. forgot holidays or eating out in peace - i don't want a slice of that - i just want to be able to go to the toilet without any commentries about who is going to wipe who's butt and could i hurry up now because someone needs to pee?

a 4yo is like a little teen (with all the demanding and what not) and a 2yo.. well we know what 2yo's are like.. and my 2yo.. wow, she is like a 3 year old really. this kid drives me NUTS.

what fun times this has been for us. i had a very bad mama day yesterday, thankgod for dh. we have a baby coming in feb too..

[amynbebes]

Definitely a possibility. I think the challenge is that the 2 yr old is likely at the can't really reason with but most assuredly knows enough to make ya crazy and the 4 yr old is at the can reason with but still testing boundary stage.

[Lohagrace]

Originally Posted by cosmos

You might hear "it doesn't get easier-just different" but I have to disagree with that and take your side.

It will, eventually end. I think you now that, being you are aware enough to make this post. Just try to go along with the madness and see some humor in it. life really doesn't make sense at this point

yeah, and i dont feel like its bravado or a pity party either, i really think a 2 and 4 year old is the suckiest year in parenting. thanks for agreeing

Originally Posted by mamamelia

what was that you said? you're going to explode because you have 2 kids in your face non-stop? congratulations! you have a 4 and 2yo.

i dream of the day when i can just sh*t in peace. forgot holidays or eating out in peace - i don't want a slice of that - i just want to be able to go to the toilet without any commentries about who is going to wipe who's butt and could i hurry up now because someone needs to pee?

a 4yo is like a little teen (with all the demanding and what not) and a 2yo.. well we know what 2yo's are like.. and my 2yo.. wow, she is like a 3 year old really. this kid drives me NUTS.

what fun times this has been for us. i had a very bad mama day yesterday, thankgod for dh. we have a baby coming in feb too..

laughup
yeah, taking a crap in peace would be nice. i have a lot of bad days lately. if i could just keep my cool and have a sense of humor, this would all be a LOT easier...

shipping the kids off to my parents on a regular basis seems to help a lot, too!

[Vancouver Mommy]

Well, I have a 1.5 yo and a 3.5 yo, so I'm a little scared now.

[Red Sonja]

DS is 4 and DD1 is 2, and this is a very challenging stage for me. To put it mildly. I also have a 3 month old and a deployed hubby, and sometimes the days are very, very long. : They're best friends and worst enemies all rolled into one. Some days it makes me wish I had a sibling close to me in age (my brother is 11 years younger). Other days I'm scared they're going to kill each other by mid-afternoon. And occasionally I would just like to be told when someone pees in the living room floor, before I find it with my bare foot.

And in another few years, DD2 will be 2 and DD1 will be 4. :

[leximom]

damn, my girls are 1 and 3 and some days I feel like I'm barely holding it together. I don't know what I'm going to do if 2 and 4 really is harder

[lizabird]

When my older ds was 3, I had a hard time dealing with various outbursts of his. He's almost 5 now, and those outbursts have gotten a little easier, thank goodness! If my sweet 2 yr old turns out to be anything like his big brother at age 3, we may be in serious doodoo. Speaking of which, yes it would be really nice to have some privacy on the potty.

[nolansmummy]

My daughter is almost two and my son is 4. I feel like i'm going crazy most days of the week. My daughter is hitting the "no" stage, and everything i ask is responded to with a high pitched, very drawn out, scream.
My son doesn't remember how to do basic things anymore, like put his clothes away, or eat dinner. He doesn't listen to a word i say. He back talks, and calls me names (fun stuff he's just recently picked up) He is a 13 year old teenager, in a four year olds body.
They are constantly fighting with each other, taking each others things, yelling at each other, and then there is the pushing and hitting. It doesn't end. Luckily(for them) they are both so darn cute or else i don't know what i 'd do.

I just can't wait until they are both a little older, then it might be easier. At least, that is what i keep telling myself.

[Juvysen]

I have an almost 3 year old and a 16 mo. old. They're 18 mos. apart, but I'm scared for it to get any harder...

[mojumi]

LOL. well, with a 6, 4, and 2, I guess I should be insane!! I found the 4-2 combo more challenging the first time around, but this time the personalities are different and I'm more relaxed (or too far gone). We find that 3 is the challenging age in this house (sounds like some others find this, too!) so I'm waiting for the youngest to take her turn giving me white hairs next year.

Things will be different, every day, day by day!

[Alison's Mom]

My DS is 2 yr 3 months, and my DD just turned 4. I actually find this stage easier than it was last year. DD is getting more independent, and although she is quite needy emotionally and attention-wise, she is getting easier to reason with *if* she gets enough sleep.

DS started playing well with DD about 6 months ago, so that has helped immensely. It probably helps that DS is *fairly* easy-going and usually lets his sister boss him around. Of course, this may change at any time, and he is getting more 'terrible twos-ish', having tantrums when he doesn't want his diaper changed, etc, complete with the kicking, screaming, and all that.

Of course there are days when I think I'm going to kill myself, but we seem to have more decent days now.

Good luck!

[AllisonR]

I'm agreeing with Alisonsmom. DD just turned 2 and DS just turned 4. I an really enjoying this time. They play well together. Yes, they can fight and one eggs the other on and it escalates, but 95% of the time they are having fun. They make each other laugh, they think of creative, fun things to do together. Yes, my son gives me the "you are an old poopy sausage" and "I'm going to put you in jail" talk, and then DD repeats it. But, well, I think it is funny in an age appropraite way. Let the good times continue. : And hugs to those that need it. I guess the hard times come at different times for different families. For me, it was a 2 yo and a newborn. Now, that was H*ll!

[mojumi]

Originally Posted by AllisonR

"you are an old poopy sausage"

[lindberg99]

1 and 3 was the worst for me so far. At least at 2 and 4, the 2 yo was down to one nap a day and they both took naps in the afternoon and I got some peace. At 1 and 3, the youngest needed two naps, which were never timed with the 3 yo's nap.

They are 8 and 10 now and wow, the 10 yo is getting pretty challenging! So I'm reserving judgement on what the hardest year is. I'm thinking that 10 & 12 and 11 & 13 are going to be up there too.

[marieangela]

I have a 3 year old and a 5 year old (6 in couple of months). I think this tops when they were 2 and 4. They are always at each other's throats and my older one is constantly telling me what the younger one did to him. never ending battles. It makes it ever so slightly easier to have the older one in school now. Tough call.

[tylerdylan]

Originally Posted by Vancouver Mommy

Well, I have a 1.5 yo and a 3.5 yo, so I'm a little scared now.

My thought exactly!! Mine are 16 months and almost 4 and if it gets any harder than it is right now I may just loose it!!! Of course we have a lot of extra stresses in our life right now as our almost 4 year old DS has cancer, but for the most part he acts like a normal 3 year old. I can't wait for the baby to start talking so we can get through his constant frustrations. I just keep telling myself that this is the worst it could possibly be and things will only get better from here, but now I'm a little scared.

[alllyssa]

No!

Having a 4 year old, a 2 year old and a brand new baby is even harder :-)

Short of that (and I guess twins or something like that), YES!

[Drummer's Wife]

Originally Posted by alllyssa

Having a 4 year old, a 2 year old and a brand new baby is even harder :-)

yep! only I think it's even harder having a 6 yr old, 4 yr old, 2 yr old and a newborn. :

But for some crazy reason I still love the two year gap and am hoping #5 comes along before my youngest turns 3.

I think you just get used to the chaos, I must thrive in it